Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
InuYasha17 0
Awkward... o_o
Chunchunchun 3
Need to chew your boyfriend out for that...
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Comments (130)
gogokira 5
I hope you responded with "Yeah, it's my job" with a straight face.
MoJoThundRpants 0
rape him before he rapes you lol
stormin972 0
If this is real, it's a funny ass story.
ZomgWeAreClubKid 0
That's disturbing. o_o
ThankfullyNotYou 1
You should start running. It's none of his business what you do in the bedroom. Your boyfriend needs pimp slapped and dumped for talking about that stuff with his father. It's one thing to brag to his friends but, it's beyond gross and creepy to boast to his daddy. Get away now. Just go!
blahblahduncare 0
First thought: creepy. Second thought: music?
GLiTTeRz 0
guess it's time for bondage. they make balls for your mouth now ;D
MEF62 5
YDI for sleeping with a guy before you'd even met his family
StarscreaM_87 0
Yo
TheCube 6
O_O
kingcaesar 0
Its funny how your boyfriend decided to share this information his dad.