Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Quest_ 13
Why are female bare breasts offensive?
Jimboom 12
Well old chap, it is a tennis match and things are a bit more civilized there. We don't go around bearing ones chest willy nilly. I mean whats next... a man going around selling hot dogs and peanuts in the stands??? You sir OP are uncouth barbarian of the highest order!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
InuYasha17 0
Hint, hint...
PimpdaddyCJT 13
lol need to get a man BRA!!!!!!?????!!!!!
andruha1123 5
ydi for being a fatass
Ali_Br_fml 33
Aah the attack if the chubtits!!!!
DocBastard 40
Guess what, OP, men have breasts too. Some men have small ones. And some, like you, have bitch tit.
swimmerstud 7
offend ppl who don't want to see man boobs or moobs for short
riceplum 0
hahahahahahaha
ronton 4
um, don't take your shirt off at a tennis match?
cabbitt 0
I guess you'll just have to suck it up and wear your shirt like we females have to do.
tweetbaby14 18
nice job Horace P. MacTitties
bigblue95 0
MOOBS!!!!
Houndourpup 0
19, don't pick on those who don't give a crap about details.
ugwmii 0
33 u deserve it for being a dog. and don't sweat it bro you arnt the only one with a beast like mass.
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
ha.
nollid7 5
OP means you're a fat piece of Sh*t. :) lol
SekksiFML6969 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for havin' chesticles!
justsayfuck 5
Someone's got some maaaaanboobies.
glen12 0
can I play with.your boobs? they look fun :)
ktbird 0
Wow that's not creepy at all...
lickmyjock 0
glen... dream on.
justsayfuck 5
#48 Oh please, no. Glen, stop dreaming. Immediately.
supernice 0
I would like to apologize for all decent men, and say sorry.
justsayfuck 5
Wow, you're supernice!
twistman27 0
yeah what supernice said.
ugwmii 0
stfu
noseasmamon 0
.. her boobs are small.. >.> <.<
WorkThatButt 2
YDI For Not Already Being Gay!!!!
FFML_314 12
That makes absolutely no sense. You should put your head down and go sit in the corner.
owneditup 0
lol i can only assume you really misread fml or u posted on rong fml
puggfuggly 0
wow FFML seems to like to try and put people down in every comment she makes just because of a joke/stupid thing someone else said.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
99: Nah, just the ones who deserve it.
noseasmamon 0
you should try gives me hope :) trolling is fun there
hairt 4
moobs.
Karynthebabe101 0
haha one word says it all..
misfitSuperStar 0
Face it, it IS a bit tacky, op.
Jimboom 12
Well old chap, it is a tennis match and things are a bit more civilized there. We don't go around bearing ones chest willy nilly. I mean whats next... a man going around selling hot dogs and peanuts in the stands??? You sir OP are uncouth barbarian of the highest order!
molil_4810 0
hahahaha when I was reading this i thought it was a girl(unroll the end) and I'm like ****!! lol
lickmyjock 0
read the fml, it was a man.
FFML_314 12
iicaptain, haven't you learned by now that the general population of FML can't read? It's something we have to unfortunately accept. Although, it is fun to poke fun at the inbreeders.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
lol^^^
EricErection69 0
ahaha 29
Quest_ 13
Why are female bare breasts offensive?
andruha1123 5
12, I think you failed to realize that the op is a dude
Quest_ 13
My comment was in response to the implication that if said breasts belonged to a woman, they would be offensive.
meagy 6
Offensive to the law I'm guessing? Indecent exposure most likely.
The_good_times 0
"offensive to some", I'm sure men wouldn't mind them, most women probably wouldn't mind them either, so I'm guessing it's for the children.
RedPillSucks 33
Breasts are always for the children... Quest, you have to remember we still live in a fairly puritanical society. There are some places where women can't even breast feed in public. I guess I'm really not answering your question as to "why" some people find it offensive. It's a cultural and religious issue.
meiwaku 2
Its not against the law in Toronto Canada women can legally walk around completely topless, I'm sure it's the same in some major American cities?
humzizzl3 0
#41 , your pic made me laugh haha
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
52: I've heard that it's technically legal in many cities, but it's still not allowed, if you know what I mean. You'd probably get arrested or detained, just not formally charged.
lidemocr 0
it's not a NASCAR race it's a tennis match... did you really think that would be okay?
foreverspellman 0
ouch man, I don't even like NASCAR (anymore, since I grew up and found the other side of my brain... you know, the one that makes RIGHT turns) but that was a bit harsh and sterotypical. how dare you. Also, haha, MOOBS! man boobies! or should I say moobies...? lmao