Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML
Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
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Top comments
alicexox 0
isn't the saying: drunk words are sober thoughts? It's not so bad, you obviously wanted to break up with her anyway right? :)
nando92 0
haha that sucks... LESSON LEARNED: dont drink so much
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Comments (94)
Intoxicunt 6
At least you went out with a bang! -You just lost the game.
ivdrscg 2
I lost.
Starchild21 3
I suck ass at the Game :( This is kind of retarded though, he could just check the sent messages... ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
CyclonePsycho 1
Ugh, ever since I joined fmylife, I've been losing the game every other day. That's it, I'm declaring everyone a winner for all eternity. You guys are free now. 8)
XxBlackamusPrime 5
**** >_>
tbj42409 0
you thought it was SILLY to leave your phone in your car?? wtf?!
Snowstar 0
50- Only Chuck Norris can do that.
legit321 0
NOOOOOOO I WAS GON BE FIRST, damn it had to make an account D: < (watch this get negative comments)
Alphreak 0
You just got Moderated.
Ofoz91 0
Maybe you'd still be in a relationship if you weren't a douche.
Tubasaurus 0
How is he a douche exactly?
Ofoz91 0
Figuratively speaking of course. But he got so drunk that he breaks up with his girlfriend over a text message AND doesn't remember it... that just screams douche bag.
Intoxicunt 6
Getting so drunk he threw away a (presumably) good relationship? Yeah, sounds like a douche. If someone ran over a kid while drunk, I'd call them a douche too. Drinking is wonderful if you set limits.
Ofoz91 0
Well, if they ran over a child while drunk I would probably be a little more brash than calling him a douche bag, but you understand the point. Lol.
Intoxicunt 6
Lol, yeah. Unless the kid was that amazing baby who survived being run over by the train.
Ofoz91 0
And considering that's highly unlikely, I believe we would have something worse than a douche bag on our hands. Haha.
lets_be_ian 5
limits are made to be broken from time to time, most certainly when it comes to alcohol. just remember what scott Henry said... "everything in moderation, especially moderation" sometimes you just gotta get smashed and do dumb shit. I don't think anyone would just randomly break up with a significant other however unless there were already feelings leading him that way. I may have made an ass of myself to all my friends while drunk more times than I can count, but I have never just flipped out and said I didnt' want to be friends with them anymore.
RubixMonkey 0
“Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains”- Democritus I'd say dude is right.
kindness 0
haha agreed. his own stupid fault
nando92 0
haha that sucks... LESSON LEARNED: dont drink so much
alicexox 0
isn't the saying: drunk words are sober thoughts? It's not so bad, you obviously wanted to break up with her anyway right? :)
Da_Fuck_Was_That 0
Cant you just check her txt message inbox or some thing or check your sent txt messages You need proof!!!
4ddie 0
YDI. Don't drink so much?
fancypantsninja 0
Wow your an idiot but i agree with #6 drunk words are more truthful
Taalix 0
There's a big chance that she probably lied. I mean really.... but still, to confirm it, you should have looked in your sent box and made sure you sent said text message. Be smart, use your common sense, and don't drink. I agree with #9: you do deserve it.
PJB4466 0
am i not getting the context of this or what? i picked it up as he left the phone in that car and someone else used it to send a breakup text (not him?).
Ofoz91 0
he said he thought it would be "silly to leave [his] phone in the car", so I assume that means he brought it with him. Which turned out to be a bad idea considering the ending of the story.