Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my school's yearbook awarded "Cutest Couple" to my boyfriend and me. We broke up yesterday. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
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Top comments
CommanderCman1 15
You won't die alone OP, you'll have many cats with you
thatnucca 36
You clearly need new friends OP... Friends should help and not be too quick to make things worse than they already are... Keep you chin up!
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Comments (49)
Mauskau 36
You will find someone or something to spend the rest of your life with. It doesn't need to be a human :) just don't try and breed with it if it isn't human D:
foxwasalamb 24
maybe they just dont know who you truly are.
_G0D_ 9
Yes they do, and we all do.
aruden 25
Hey look at the bright side, you may die alone or with cats but at least you won an award
Mandybruin 15
There's always a silver lining, easier to find with some things than with others. =)
sanecatlady 13
This whole stupid "crazy cat lady" stereotype has really gotten out of hand, and I should know. I really don't want to own that many cats, though. I think two or three is enough for anyone.
Cplski 8
I just shorten it to "cat lady." It's saying the same thing, but it sounds nicer.
RapunzelForReal 8
You can never have too many cats. End of story.
Kaspar999 7
OP--I know many people who didn't date a lot in high-school and found great relationships later on in life. I also know many people who dated a lot in high-school and never had decent quality relationships as adults. You'll find that as you get older, life tends to have a surprising way of unfolding. Hope this gives you some hope about the future.
awkward_gothlady 32
Just because you don't find someone in high school doesn't mean you never will.
username53001 7
Prove them wrong... only buy 4 cats.
worldclassrager 41
I'm sorry but I laughed...I got most likely to get thrown to the moon...
JudgeComrade 17
Dat high school drama.
MidnaLink 35
Huh, I always thought that yearbooks only did that "award" crap on TV shows. Mine had just the grade photos and sports and activities aound the school.