Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
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Top comments
levitate 3
Fortune tellers are full of BS. & you're just a neglectful goldfish owner. (:
TigressUK 0
A fish doesn't die if it isn't fed for three days. It must have had something else wrong with it.
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Comments (162)
levitate 3
Fortune tellers are full of BS. & you're just a neglectful goldfish owner. (:
daniisme 0
poor goldfish, having to be ur closest friend...
victoria4161993 0
those are so dumb hahaha why would you believe that you just payed a lady to make something up and hope it happens
cellerbeck 4
I believe in that stuff. but you have to get a person that knows wht their doing
shotgunhr 0
too abd there's no such thing
alliewillie 22
As for the goldfish - they can go FAR more than 3 days without food and they won't die. That's not what killed it. Something tells me you're way more neglectful than that.
niall92 6
144 - yeah exactly. someone who know what they're doing is someone who knows how to phrase their responses ambiguously enough for them to apply to anyone.
zoo_fml 0
LOL
Shallow_Padentic 0
lol #1
designedlikedice 0
You can't even keep a goldfish alive? Shit, those are the easiest animals to take care of!
sukhdeep 4
ikr number 4! my mom won't lemme get one! XD
TigressUK 0
A fish doesn't die if it isn't fed for three days. It must have had something else wrong with it.
TheGBandU 0
your life is f**ked but mostly because ur closest friend is a gold fish
mylifeisfuckedd 0
FYL for your goldfish being your closest friend.
luvable_loozer 0
lame
uaresuchafag 0
#8 beat me to to it. haha
Im_Insane 0
A fish doesnt die because you dont feed it for 3 days. When I had fish I went months without feeding them...
Cyrus00 41
Months?!? What the ****, did they eat eachother?