Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school's yearbook awarded "Cutest Couple" to my boyfriend and me. We broke up yesterday. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
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Top comments
CommanderCman1 15
You won't die alone OP, you'll have many cats with you
thatnucca 36
You clearly need new friends OP... Friends should help and not be too quick to make things worse than they already are... Keep you chin up!
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Comments (49)
DylanHasClass 17
You should pour week old kitty litter in there cars!
Cristina41 8
Dont listen to them. Just start planning world domination with your army of cats, then we'll see who's laughing.
hanpolski 2
That's exactly what I intend to do!!
JazNim17 18
Just because you don't have a significant other doesn't mean you're alone. My best friend has never had a boyfriend, but she's a lot of fun and has a handful of really close friends. I didn't date anyone until I was done with high school, but again, I had people (and a dog) that I care about.
Omniprism 15
People are assholes. Use it as motivation to prove them wrong.
outoftown 27
With friends like that, I can see why they'd think you'd prefer cats. :( On the bright side, high school will soon be over and you can make the life you want, without them.
megadki14 6
your best friend sounds like a keeper. not
megadki14 6
also, what kind of asshole school officials allow rude titles like that?
gunnerysgt 15
Hell, at least you didn't win the "most likely to become crazy" and the "most likely to be a virgin" awards like I did... ******* pricks who voted
mclovin22897 15
**** all of those assholes. prove them wrong and show up to your reunion as one of the most successful people there.
skyeyez9 25
I probably would have been labeled the same thing in high school if someone had thought of that cat comment in our yearbook. But I am now married with a family. Everybody blossoms in their own time. Mine wasn't till my early 20s. Ironic thing was most guys considered me a nerd in school but in my 20s, the same guys who made fun of me in school tried to date me.