Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school's yearbook awarded "Cutest Couple" to my boyfriend and me. We broke up yesterday. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
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Top comments
CommanderCman1 15
You won't die alone OP, you'll have many cats with you
thatnucca 36
You clearly need new friends OP... Friends should help and not be too quick to make things worse than they already are... Keep you chin up!
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Comments (49)
1dvs_bstd 41
yearbooks; documenting the awkward phase of everyone's lives.. except you're a bitchy cheerleader or douchey jock.
Oaktree5891 6
Sounds like my ex.
Witchylady 18
I love cats!!! You won't die alone cause you will have lots of furry friends to keep you company.
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Look on the bright side Op, you're known for something!
awkward_gothlady 32
Maybe some day, you'll do as other commenters have suggested and just get 4 cats. And somewhere, in a high school across the country, your soulmate is right now also being voted most likely to exceed 5 cats for the same reason you are, is reading this comment section, and also decides to get 4 cats. You meet on some random trip you're each taking, hit it off, and eventually get married, each bringing all your cats with you.
garebear61 14
If I were you I wouldn't let it bother me. It seems that the people who alot of people don't expect to succeed are the ones who do well for themselves. Good luck!
archertheo 15
What's your number? ;)
infinitemonkey 21
I know this sounds like a cliche, but seriously, you won't care about what these idiots think in a few years. You will be happy, confident, and so much better off than them...
YeaSo3 14
words in a yearbook dont determine your destiny. you'll be what you want to be... turn it in to a positive....you may save some cats lives..that others can adopt from you. ..and oh yeah that's not your friend hunny
siggy_mcsigx 22
Hey...if you're doing a yearbook you're a high school senior, right? So you're 17 or 18. You're going to change sooooo much, physically and mentally and socially - in every way - between 18 and 40. Writing yourself off at 18 is seriously silly and unproductive. And guess what? Finding a significant other doesn't have to be a life priority. Those yearbook superlatives are usually born from inside jokes and stuff. While it stings that they teased you, I wouldn't take it too seriously. **** anyone else's opinion! Live your life for you :) .