Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school's yearbook awarded "Cutest Couple" to my boyfriend and me. We broke up yesterday. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CommanderCman1 15
You won't die alone OP, you'll have many cats with you
thatnucca 36
You clearly need new friends OP... Friends should help and not be too quick to make things worse than they already are... Keep you chin up!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
thatnucca 36
You clearly need new friends OP... Friends should help and not be too quick to make things worse than they already are... Keep you chin up!
PrinterKing 13
I'll be OP's friend
noahf0108 5
You're right, they're not great friends if they're saying that stuff about OP.
junkman6 22
I prefer my best friend to be brutally honest with me rather than sugar coating things. I know from experience your best friends are the ones who will figuratively and literally bitch slap you when you need it.
cryssycakesx3 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
it never said they were OP's friends...
R3TROxLOV3 32
#30, I suggest that you work on your reading comprehension, as it's obviously lacking.
amayasoma 19
Sorry, but if my best friend said that to me I would cut them loose. You do not have to have a romantic relationship with someone to be happy. Hell, my aunt didn't and she was the best damn person before she passed. Plus, she had so many people around her that loved her. OP, you will not die alone but you need to find better friends. You shall have your family, hopefully better friends, and CATS! Keep your chin up, hun.
junkman6 22
You guys are bringing your own stuff into this. It's not saying either way if that's good or bad they're just saying "you aren't gonna find a man." Unsaid is unless you change some things up. Balls in OPs court with that. She can choose to have cats dogs gophers adopt whatever. But the brutal honesty of the best friend is actually pretty cool IMO. Who else can you rely on to tell you stuff you don't want to hear?
Lil_Red777 21
Oh so being told people think you're going to die alone isn't bad? I thought the FML at the end of this story should have given that away.
CommanderCman1 15
You won't die alone OP, you'll have many cats with you
cwl727 33
Love your cat picture!
euphoricness 28
Yeah and if she doesn't get her cats she'll at least have her pussy to be with her!
gjikvtj 18
Leonard: (talking about an aunt with cats) and you know what they did when she died? They ate her!
ticklewhizzer 5
Nothing wrong with being the crazy cat lady!
TwinkleToes7 15
Haha that would so be me! I love cats and hate seeing them hungry :/
Sp1k3FML 14
Prove them wrong OP. That's all,fyl.
juanschwartz 18
Ooh, sucks for you OP.
mario2012 18
You don't say?
ticklewhizzer 5
There's a button for that.
euphoricness 28
YOU MEAN EX RIGHT??
juanschwartz 18
There's also a comment box.
badluckalex 23
hey, it could be worse :/
JuzReading 23
Sounds like they're just messing around with ya, so go along with it. But seriously it seems like you're young so you'll have plenty of time to find a worthy companion :) Oh, and cats aren't so bad.
MisUnFortunate 31
Gotta love how everyone thinks relationships are the most important things in the world and if you're not in one you're ugly and worthless. **** that, at least cats won't cheat on you or demand you wash their socks.
garebear61 14
Not all men are that way! I do my own laundry thank you very much and a few other peoples occasionally. I do agree with what you say about cats though. I love my cat and he only whines for food.
Crazynocatlady 22
Only get four cats. That'll show 'em.
KingLewisII 34
Show them all up and get dogs