Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML
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Top comments
ifinishlast 0
that's what you get for drinking too much kool-aid
Pinky420 0
Dude I feel for ya!!! I have had many mornings where I don't remember the night before but basically after seeing and hearing from my friends what I did or wasn't suppose to do I was kinda of glad that I didn't remember so yeah I feel for ya
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Comments (81)
TotalPandamonium 2
YDI for drinking to the point where you don't remember the night before. I'm not against drinking, but some self control and you wouldn't be in the situation you're in now.
darkmis1 18
YDI for drinking TOO MUCH! The ocasional drink is fine now and then, but when you drink to the point where you black out, that's WAY too much, and you deserve whatever happens.
Subjectzero 0
why do people get themselves that shitfaced in the first place? ydi
lovetoday_fml 0
omg, i would die if that happened to me.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Hopefully you will kill yourself from your idiotic behavior before you kill someone else.
fuckingshitt343 0
uhh. how about don't drink and drive? or don't get so uncontrollably drunk that you can't even remember whether or not you drove. this girl i went to school with was just killed in a drunk driving accident. she was only 21. she wasn't driving, but i'm sure she was drunk as well as the driver. and it's just stupid. it's all preventable. you definitely deserve it. and to the people that said "oh its an fml because he'll have to pay for the damage" and yadiyada then good, he deserves to pay for the damage because it's his responsibility for whoever drove his car. or whatever. ughh
TakeItEasyPeople 0
What if no one drove the car to his house? What if he just drank... at his house?
fuckingshitt343 0
well somebody obviously drove his car.. i'm sure it was a stupid house party. i don't know. maybe i'm just assuming things here.. but that is what it seems.
FknJames 0
37 is gay
null_fml 11
I was thinking more along the lines of reporting it as a criminal act. But then again, he'd probably get laughed out of the police station, and rightly so.
Bullshet 0
There's a difference between having a social drink and letting it get out of hand. If you wanna get shitfaced and black out that's fine, but don't complain when you wake up the next morning and find yourself a similar situation the OP was in. I mean, you kinda accept that risk the minute you decide to get drunk. YDI
Dominigga88 0
So when people drink they automatically put themselves at risk from other people taking their cars and driving them into things? Make sense next time you post some stupid self righteous comment you jackass.
Bullshet 0
Uhhh, yeah he does, you moron. Use your brain for once. You have a huge drinking party at your house, why should you be surprised that your guests would wreck your stuff, especially if you're not sober enough to stop them because you're too busy blacking out? It's like letting a bunch of gorillas loose in your house and saying, "Oh shit, they wrecked all my stuff. FML!" If you don't want it to happen, either don't have huge drinking parties or remain sober enough to make sure it doesn't get out of hand. It's not that hard to understand.
Bob4545 0
You care enough to post twice that you don't care.
603050294 0
Dude, where's my car?
RedJester23 6
where's your car, dude?
dhaworth93 8
dude SWEET!!