Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
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Top comments
kathii01 20
I doubt you passed out from only 3 beers yourself. Seems like you didn't listen to your own rule.
MissWhitneyB 17
Did you follow your own drink limit? No. So why would anyone else listen if you dont follow your own rules?
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Comments (64)
kathii01 20
I doubt you passed out from only 3 beers yourself. Seems like you didn't listen to your own rule.
BaraSkit07 12
MIght've been knocked out because OP is a downer?
mcauley3 8
maybe it was 3 bottles of vodka??
AKGirlinSD 20
1, I know a lot of light weights. It doesn't matter if it is beer or hard alcohol but it only takes one drink. However, I don't agree with the Original Poster telling guests to babysit his/her's beer intake.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I agree 37... I think thats the dumbest party rule I've ever heard! !
coversquirrel 8
37- i agree with everything you said except that you misread the part about the limit. He set that limit for EVERYONE to only have 3 drinks, not for people to only let him have 3 drinks.
wallandpiece 16
3 drinks? What kind of house party is this?
jedrools 16
37 lightweight wouldn't matter with a three drink minimum my nine year old little brother (80 pounds) once snuck into my dads liquor cabinit and drank over half a bottle of vodka without passing out
HKCgrimmjow 15
I don't usually drink. But when I do, I shit in tubs
DrSo 15
77 Lightweight, in this case, is a term for someone who cannot hold his or her alcohol, not someone of a low weight.
AKGirlinSD 20
52, I don't see where OP wrote that the three beer limit was to everyone. I can see how that could be assumed but I highly doubt many people would show up to a party that has a three beer limit, per person. The way OP explained what he/she saw when he/she woke up, I assumed there had to have had a lot of people there.
angeluv_2014 22
My immediate thought. i think op just wanted some free people to look over her while she got waisted
MissWhitneyB 17
Did you follow your own drink limit? No. So why would anyone else listen if you dont follow your own rules?
persianninja 23
Lets be honest who would actually listen to a drink limit when the host is knocked out
xcheshirecat 11
where did she say she passed out or take too much
qjdb 8
In her first sentence :-)
dinosxxrawr 22
sometimes you should listen to your own rules first.
ApollosMyth 22
Am I the only one that took "passed out" as just falling asleep..?
kurodansei 16
SMH somebody is a lightweight or a hypocrite. the best way tobset a drink limit is not to buy a lot of beer.
kurodansei 16
to set*
silencebabyy 23
maybe they brought their own beer
Pikawhore 21
It sucks that you had to clean up alone, but inviting people to drink and setting arbitrary rules like that is pretty lame. And if you set the limit because your friends go too wild when they are around liquor, then maybe you should reconsider who you invite to your parties.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Well where I'm from if we have a house party there's usually a few people that stay to help out in the morning. Sometimes I'll even come back the next day if I knew I made quite a mess myself. But we stick to bonfires and river parties so nothing gets broke inside. Maybe that's where OP went wrong. Shouldn't of had an indoor party, especially if the people you invited are a rowdy bunch.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
27....you're only 19....
BlowinChronic 18
47- and 19 year olds would NEVER party or drink... Right?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You're mistaken 47, see they were only bubble parties. I didn't know there was an age limit on blowing bubbles.. Haha. I knew someone would say something stupid over that.
hannaaaahr 33
I agree with cleaning up after a party, when I had a party several people stayed and helped me clean it up, as do I when someone else gives a party. I can however understand that when the host is knocked out you don't really feel like cleaning up. It's his responsibility and you should always be alert and in control when you throw a party in my opinion.
_delusions_ 15
47 - 19 is the legal drinking age in Canada.
yeongji 31
You do know that when alcohol is involved, nobody listens to rules, right?
asb818 14
Not true, I listen to every rule, I just choose to ignore some of them...ok, most of them.
mattrd_fml 31
yiu did t obey your own rule if you passed out. YDI
nissa0909 16
RIP English.
Ranimal 12
Wow, just wow...
MrBoredomioo 18
You* didn't*
vballgirly28 16
Um you didn't even follow your own drinking limit if you passed out so why should anyone else? But I hate cleaning so I guess FYL for that part.
Ayanpatel95 7
Never under estimate the power of liquor
RoseBlack123 37
I don't think you should expect people to have only 3 when you yourself have obviously had way more