Why not both?
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
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Top comments
therob10 1
I'd rather have the head..
hailphire130 0
You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.
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Comments (224)
xblitzx34 0
I would of said thx n giving u sum amazing sex
Btreasure 8
He's right you couldve it would've been cheaper. Messier but cheaper
Randy84 10
Not if she swallows.
loserman67 36
This guy is a smoooth talker. "Hey Babe, thanks for the watch, let me time you to see how long it takes for you to suck me off."
ReynshineCutting 10
What a douche. He had better be kidding but I doubt it since this is an fml. Time to put him back in his place and teach him some respect and appreciation. Tell him he can use his new watch to keep track of how long it'll be before you even CONSIDER giving him head again. Then make him wait even longer.
betoocastilloo 0
I think that guy and I have the same personality! haha
BritLass 15
Why are you complaining?? He gave you a cheaper, and probably more enjoyable, alternative :D
ReynshineCutting 10
How on earth would that at all be enjoyable to OP? I'm hoping you meant more enjoyable for her boyfriend. Some women (myself included) despise giving head.
kitties_fml 12
That's so sad, ReynshineCutting...giving head is so much ******* fun. Everyone who loves dick should love sucking it. I hated it until I became good at it, and I think that's characteristic of lots of "women like you."
ReynshineCutting 10
...and snorting coke is fun for crack heads too. I'll go down on my man sometimes before sex to get him aroused IF he's just showered (if not ew hell no) and believe me I get no complaints on my skill. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm not skilled. Quite the contrary. But enjoying having a **** rammed down your throat is a characteristic of women/****** like you so to each their own.
kitties_fml 12
hahahaha! i genuinely loled, thanks girl
kitties_fml 12
ReynshineCutting, lemme clue you in on something: if you hate giving head, THE GUY CAN TELL, and it makes his experience, despite whatever technical skill you may have, really not very much fun. however, if you love it, it's exciting and hot for both of you.
kitties_fml 12
i won't even comment on the "*****" dig. but i will tell you your comments made me actually laugh out loud.
ReynshineCutting 10
I'm not calling her a ***** because she gives head, I'm saying women who say "giving head is so much ******* fun" is characteristic of a *****. When someone acts like sex is supposed to be all about fun, that comes off as pretty whoreish. I was also unaware that the ****** goes into the penis. I shall look into that! And maybe you were a terrible actress before you liked giving head sweetie, but not everyone is. Like I said, I despise it and have only given him full blown head once, but when I do go down on him to get him aroused he's never had any complaints. Maybe you just weren't skilled yet? But you can definitely hate it and still be good at it and it won't affect how good you are at it.
kitties_fml 12
i can't even be insulted by your ludicrously outdated, misogynistic comments. the definition of a "*****" is someone who receives money or similar compensation in exchange for sexual services, and i can assure you that i have never done this and will never do this. another common interpretation is something along the lines of a woman who's so insecure that she goes around ******* anyone who will have her, or doing so without discretion or standards. that also could not be further from the truth about me. IF YOU REALLY THINK THAT A ***** IS A WOMAN WHO THINKS SEX IS FUN, then yes, i am a *****, but you're a goddamn idiot. (and you're just plain wrong about the last bit. survey all the males you know and get back to me. genuine enthusiasm makes all the difference in a sexual encounter.)
mikechek 3
Some guys don't need much lol
little_monster21 0
nothing says happy bday, like a bj!
lilcuz69 16
Amen
bunnymess 4
Dude that's messed if my man did that I would take the watch back buy me something and not do anything with him for a month but that's just me :)
rarememory 7
I would've taken if back and bought me something nice and given him a half ass ******** ;)