Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
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Top comments
therob10 1
I'd rather have the head..
hailphire130 0
You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.
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Comments (224)
sodapopper 6
Hahah... Tell him I said stay classy!
itskelifool 4
Why are you complaining? At least you know next time!
Fahodi 4
Give him a dish of Tabouleh on his next birthday!! :p
christinnaaa 10
nothing is better then birthday head or sex (: head preferably. one day u can be a selfish lover
ryaninreverse 3
Dope!
skinflint 6
I'd rather have head too. If I want to know what time it is, I check my mobile. If I need a golf GPS, I use my mobile. If I want to play video games, or watch hulu, I use my mobile. On my Birthday, I want super special birthday head. Which means no complaints about taking it to the face and hair. If you cook up a good steak with brown gravy, onions and mushrooms it would be even better. Those two things I mentioned are things I can't do for myself.
fackincrazy 0
Um it sounds like he was saying that your gift is better then head which is a lie but still sounds like he liked it
elyk81 0
Yeah he knows what's up
jefffluffingham 5
give him head. a split head. maybe he's saying "you dont need to buy me expensive things, all i need is you." in a completely retarded way. or he's a sexist dick.
fiberflex15 0
Screw the watch give the head