Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.
starberries 0
My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.
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Comments (121)
ParkersGirl 0
I'll have to agree with #16. Your man obviously only " loves" the things you do to him and he doesn't really love you as a person or even as his girlfriend.
margarita19 0
forreal !!!
0die 0
I say "I love you." at least twelve times a day.
shrimpygymnast 9
Yikes :/ you deserve better than that OP. If he can't respect you or admit you he loves you unless those conditions are taken to case then depending on how long you have been together, maybe it's time to move on. He sounds like a douuuuche
realauren89 6
Same here.
sp00derman 23
sounds like fresh off the boat. (except for the bj part)