Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
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Top comments
Bl4ck_1c3 2
maybe he's just weak..
notsocommonsense 1
well we know who wears the pants in this relationship
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Comments (75)
Bl4ck_1c3 2
maybe he's just weak..
awzmness 0
or maybe OP is extremely fat. just sayin'
Thin_Ice_fml 0
Most likely the bf is probably a scrawny person
boyguydudemalema 0
#10 that's the first thing i thought . . . lay off the twinkies
DudeImBetter 0
there are all these what ifs but I bet op is just a fat cow.
rallets 23
maybe its both
TheDrifter 24
I'm gonna go with farm girl. Your average fat slob op can barely lift het own arms to eat the twinkle much less bench press her bf looking for it.
crazycornn 0
oh god, you can lift your boyfriend. your life is ******, alright.
warpig182 0
Did you win in an arm wrestle too?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
as long as she is dominant in bed I don't see the problem
zman1422 3
I agree with 49
EvilCupcake8361 9
she's from Canada & women r chunky there. nuf said :P
MaydayParade1476 14
132, no, women are chunky in the USA, not Canada.
sulitak 27
3 options: 1. bf is weak, op is small 2. bf isn't weak op is big 3. bf has no clue how to lift a girl (there's a reason women are "carried across the threshold" in the standard way. its the easiest weight distribution)
notsocommonsense 1
well we know who wears the pants in this relationship
wowironic 0
yeah. the size 34 pants.
MoodyBlue320 11
Sounds like me with my boyfriend. ='(
OreosBeGooood15 0
Your the man in the relationship ?
satomi_ishida 0
Lol I'm totally going to sound sexist in this comment but guess you're the guy in the relationship :o
starberries 0
Sexist AND dumb. Nice job.
nick0las 0
ur pretty.
SkyEatsJack 4
^ you're a creep
scotty2hottie48 0
Hes wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. Your hefty, hefty, hefty.
nocanhaz 4
^ win
missjawja 0
^ agreed
rebelyrocks 0
^yes^
unko_oa 0
lmfao WIN
mrsfloyd31310 0
lol niiice
DudeImBetter 0
^ funniest thing all day props man
XxdarkangelxX13 0
lmfao:P
tboudre 0
yeah! couldn't have said it better myself!
jritchie10 3
love it
ECMxLEGIT 0
lol
haileyshelton 14
You're*
sweet_candy_ 17
Yeah show him whose boss :)
nicedevil6 0
u don't look Arab u don't look Indian as well I'd say ur american or Canadian
rockefoe 6
nice nice! you wear the pants now since if he tries to tell you "no" you can just submit him with a triangle
Jayrawrskie 0
Awhh hahaha ;D
jewban 3
or maybe they're on the moon
luvtheknot 6
he would be able to lift her if they were on the moon gravity doesn't switch it just dissapears
Sinkhole 26
Gravity disappears? Do you even know what gravity is? The moon definitely has a gravitational field, which is about 16.7% of that on Earth's surface. That's why you're supposed to weigh less on the moon than on Earth, because 'weight' is a measure of the gravitational pull between two objects. If there wasn't any gravity on the moon, you just wouldn't weigh anything.
PB4UGAME 8
Actually with no gravity some things would start to deconstruct on the molecular level, the force of attraction is too weak to hold together complex objects of multiple substances. Basically all sorts of shit would happen.
Sinkhole 26
Yeah, you're right, if there were no gravity on the moon or in space, satellites wouldn't orbit the Earth, Earth wouldn't orbit the Sun... there would be chaos. So, there's no such thing as 'no gravity', there is gravity in space. Astronauts 'float' while in space because they have the same acceleration as the capsule they're in, there's no acceleration except for the one provided by gravity.
Agility_fml 0
Slipknot fans are too hardcore for gravity, guys...
ygdrassil 17
When people say "no gravity" they mean no gravitational field of a massive object (like the earth).
miraggg 1
thanks i feel smarter after reading this
Mikex125 7
you guys need to stop all this scientific shit.
mintcar 10
You're probably just a little bigger than him and there's nothing wrong that. He could also be weak.
iSpasticFantasti 14
Lol, the funny part is it's not always the woman being bigger, I've had friends the size of grade 3 children pick up giant nephilim children that are in the same grade (9). xD