Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.
starberries 0
My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.
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Comments (121)
nikkired 0
That's what guy's do don't whine make him happy.
boopityboppity 11
I beg your pardon? No, I'm not referring to your "sentence" structure. It's the message you've cleverly hidden in the mish-mash of letters that attracts my attention. Many guys do not do that or anything of the sort. Or, if you prefer: We guy is do not do that.
SaintE_fml 0
dag....really
nikkired 0
You may beg my pardon but it won't get you a girlfriend.
boopityboppity 11
What a random, wild assumption. Thoroughly juvenile in nature, as well. Like many assumptions, it's also wrong, something at which you apparently excel. Care for a third round?
RebeccaP2010 0
Oh how lovely and effective intelligence can be :)
nikkired 0
I'm thinking a little more than an assumption. When you have nothing better to do than to come on FML and correct grammar,sounds like a lonely life to me.
boopityboppity 11
I would check my definition of "assumption," if I were you. On second thought, just read your latest comment; you can't get a better example than that. Simply repeating what you already said does not constitute an argument for your point, much less for your intellect. Like I said, you're also wrong.
underpaid011 0
that's standard.
zodak 0
duh he's a guy
jomtz86 0
lol.. same here or when he's about to play COD! lame!
jose1760 1
I love you! now, less taking more head right now!
JNor99 0
so...does he say it very often!??
LA_Barbie 11
hmmm can u say red flag?! I hope this never happens to me what a douche lord :|
ilovenyrangers 0
you're dumb for still being with a guy like that. get out of it.
jwilk05 4
i thought my gf posted this till I seen it was from Cali
RebeccaP2010 0
Despite what you think you might feel for him... you should get out of this relationship now. he's obviously not right for you, and his way of expressing his "feelings" to you may result in a major phsycological and emotional rift between the two of you. It's not worth it in my opinion =