Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.
starberries 0
My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.
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Comments (121)
simoneog09 0
we must have the same boyfriend. lol
malick95sumaira 0
K then I love you uhm... Lol jk
cLARiSSaisNOTW 0
Op that blows, for you and honestly, after you've come to this realization Why are you still with him? Yes FYL but YDI.
toriasky 0
DUMP HIM!!!
charlie_SLH 0
This is almost certainly true simply because men always want a *******.
lalo805 0
That's life
AKIFIGHTER 0
hey why dont you come over to MYSPACE and TWITTER my YAHOO until i GOOGLE all over you FACEBOOK?
asdmike9 0
dump im not to hard a choice
Death_The_Kid15 20
What OP needs to dump is a dictionary on your head.
babylioncub 0
typical male behavior
FischFisch 0
I tell my wife I love her many times throughout the day, because I love her. That being said, I usually want a ******** and/or have recently screwed up.