Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
BrickTamlandLamp 13
Can I assume this story "started with a salad"
badluckalex 23
time for revenge
teentee401 37
Or just show up at her house, break something, say "oops" and then leave.
Blake77_fml 19
*replys to top comment to be seen* Its a jersey thing....
xivoricbutterfly 25
Wow some people are just irresponsible. why couldnt she wait to do that shit in her own place when you came back. good luck op.
Godsofdracos 15
Duh, she has to clean it up if she does it at her house.
Brandi_Faith 34
Seriously, that's just disrespectful and disgusting! Used condoms everywhere, gross! I would be furious with her.
thebeafisreal 4
...and that was the last time I ever heard from her.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
miggles 16
METH It makes you do things..
euphoricness 28
She took it to the dog groomer and then Raven's knitted bracelet fell in the bathtub!
MidnaLink 35
And that OP's dog turned out to be a prize winning champion.
jajajanie 13
Ugh... that is SO Raven
elcee1987 18
Really? A That's So Raven reference? That show was nowhere near iconic (or good) enough to be referenced in public.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Tesco products
weveallbeenthere 30
hopefully she was just playing a prank on you. otherwise she is a filthy slob. you don't leave your empties laying around. why is the dog pink, did she shave it. or dye it's fur. this needs a follow up.
1two3four5six 23
she most likely dyed it, like jeffree star
whenitdidhappen 14
or filthy "****". given that OP found used condoms in the place
MandyMeow_fml 18
Now you have to pee on everything she loves. It's only fair.
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 12
Put it all in a box, go over to her house when she isn't in and empty it onto her bed. That way she will have to clean it up at least once!
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree with 7, dump it all at her place so she still has to deal with it.
soldier084 11
see, what happened was....
Mynamewontfi 40
I hope you made her clean up the mess she left behind, I wouldn't let her get away with it. And poor dog.
Brandi_Faith 34
I also worry about the dog. If the sister was drunk and partying the whole time, which it sounds like she was, did she even feed the dog or let it out to go to the bathroom? I hope she's didn't give him alcohol or do anything worse than dying his hair! Poor thing.
TheCrispyCat 20
"my dog was pink" Well this can't be good.
False_Stupidity 42
Understatement of the year candidate right here folks!