Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
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Comments (65)
worldclassrager 41
Party house...plain and simple....I think a neighbor would treat your home with a bit more respect
yeongji 31
Sounds like she is or related to an old coworker of mines. She didn't happen to spend a month a jail in some third world country or kidnap a coworker's friend's children once, right?
Brandi_Faith 34
Well that story needs to be told!
domolovesyoshi 33
Please tell us more?
naived009 7
Sounds like she threw a party
weveallbeenthere 30
or she was the party.
xtramoist 6
Typical "I woke up, got a little high, got happy, and started eating ice cream. Then I thought to myself, who do I know that likes ice cream?" story? (the gay guy from Wolf of Wall Street)
killerdana 19
What are you talking about?
SirTalkaton 22
The Hangover 4!
amarahsohi 7
Awww poor dog!
noah_1234 24
you mustve pissed someone off pretty badly
sabrinaacrow 26
I'm guessing she had a house party or 5
RobertWJV86 11
Moommm!! Jenny painted my dog Pink!
fantasyworld 39
Poor dog. Do the same to her.