Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
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Comments (65)
Aquila_Umbrae 26
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Dude look on the bright side!
bardo264 17
What bright side? (Except for the pink dog, that sounds awesome...)
MrDonSalvetti 27
I don't know! But when he find it, he should look on it!
paramor3 23
Ummm that's quite a big "oops!!" I mean, oops covers a lot...but even if has it limits!!
Nyx7 24
Yup time to go oops upside her head
AcieMcG 21
Sounds like she had a better time than you.
Mauskau 36
How can people use a condom and not throw it away after?
vikky538 29
am I be the only one who wants to have a follow up on this FML
Maccaroney 11
Follow up? I want to have been there! Party!
dragonrider1959 18
We need a follow up
skyeyez9 25
That is a valid reason to cut ties with her for a long ******* time. At least your dog is ok other than the pink color? Thankfully no drunk assholes left your doors wide open for your dog to wander away, and get hit by a car or eaten by a predator.
GingerRoot 13
Awesome sister