Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
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Top comments
orebes 3
Getting laid shouldn't be how you define seeing other people. Relationships aren't all about sex.
ters19 10
Looks like you deserved that one
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Comments (111)
ters19 10
Looks like you deserved that one
wallandpiece 16
Why? If he wants to see other girls then that's up to him. Going by the information we have in this FML, he evidently wasn't satisfied with his girlfriend. If he wasn't happy then why should he stay with her? Although it doesn't look as though they tried to make it work either.
xlord 27
It's a YDI because the last sentence insinuates that his definition of seeing other people is based solely on sexual favors.
Metallica36176 16
What I got from it was after he broke up with his ex, he didn't get lucky....so from I got, he didn't deserve it, but how he worded it seemed like he was obsessed with his ex and just didnt to be with anyone else. Either way I don't think he deserves it because either 1) he just wasn't that smooth and didn't get lucky which sucks or 2) he was so in love that no one could be better. Which also sucks (but people whove never expierenced love wouldnt understand and say they deserved it) Assuming they are a "he". It would be the same for a "her".
wyattshack 4
27 you nailed it. Op is only thinking of sex. YDI
holleester93 0
#28 I like ur reasoning behind that.
Kazenoe 24
28 - If he was so in love with her, why would he break up with her to see other people? Also, I doubt many people are going to feel sympathy for him "not being smooth enough to get lucky"...
SammyS2012 21
28- he broke up with his ex so he can have sex with other people; not because he loved her. The last sentence doesn't mean he's still in love, it's supposed to be ironic because his plan backfired.
randomthing 22
You need to meet more people.
mfischer 17
They need to meet people with a better perspective.
BradyT918 9
Or if he's so desperate he should meet his right/left hand. Do you haven't had sex in 5 years, big freaking deal. Go find a hobby or something.
davestrider 0
Yeah #65 I haven't had sex in over 14 years
orebes 3
Getting laid shouldn't be how you define seeing other people. Relationships aren't all about sex.
Pleonasm 36
Well the worst part is that he chose to dump her to see other people and it back-fired majorly. HDI big time for such a move. OP look for a real relationship instead of just seeing girls to try and have sex and maybe you may be more successful in that department.
patrickalamo 48
If you cannot be with the one you love... Love the one your with...
walmartpaysme 15
31, OP isn't with anyone.
annihil8or 15
You're
dsbs 9
Wait.. So relationships aren't only about sex and getting laid?
oddball1972 10
Shut up
CMorenita27 6
That's what you get for being such an asshole! I hope she found someone who deserves her.
mfischer 17
While I think that OP's situation is ironic, your comment is ridiculous. You know nothing about OP, his ex, or their former relationship. For all you know, she was a horrendous bitch and he was just looking to find someone else. Don't judge so harshly without knowing any details.
onlychildFTW 34
I don't see how OP really deserves it. It could have been a crappy relationship that wasn't working out. Maybe they had nothing in common. Or TOO much in common. We don't know.
CMorenita27 6
Thats true. Im sorry. No more commenting on FML's so early in the morning...i don't think straight.
Draxanoth 15
Hah! Karma.
doctorhook86 25
5: A) Karma doesn't get you until you get reincarnated--no matter what My Name Is Earl says; and B) The OP obviously wasn't happy in that relationship, so why does he deserve to be alone for leaving it? By dumping his ex, the OP made a much better decision than those people who stay (and even cheat) in bad relationships for fear of being alone.
Tyger44 1
Well time to get over wanting to have sex,maybe try to talk to some one&become friends first.. Or prostitutes
Dramori 29
Here's to another five years you ass!!! :D
moonwing 17
You broke up with her to have sex with other people? You brought that one on yourself, OP.
KawaiiMira 1
Serves you right.
missababgaga 19
If you weren't happy with how the relationship was going, then I see why you ended things. But what were you expecting? Finding another person isn't always easy. And five years is quite the gap!
blankjack 6
It is not?! Come on - a month or two is ok, but 5 years is like 10% of your life as an adult..
SuperGirlTaDa 15
23- we die at 50?:( Also, I don't know guys, we can't know for sure what the circumstances were when they broke up, but OP does say that they did so he could "see other people", which he seems to think means boning a new chick every night. So maybe he deserves it a little for thinking that sex is all that matters.
Posthuman 26
23 said 10% of his ADULT life. That's about from 18 or 20 onward, making the lifespan about 70 years.