Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
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Comments (65)
wanted_2_want 40
She sounds like a lotta fun!! ...NOT!!!
snippit 18
Aww poor pink puppy
PokeZilla 9
You must be new to FML, OP, otherwise you'd learn by now NEVER to depend on your sisters. Hope you made her clean her shit up though. That is absolutely disgusting!
redstone7693 29
Your sister is an idiot
drunk_in_love 18
Your sisters a bitch. Pun intended. Buh dum tsssss.
katt_is_here 24
I think you are drunk_on_beer.
therealtixe 8
what a ****.
Maxgolub 13
I would blow the **** up
logias_b 6
Well i guess sisters are as useless as the internet says.
CandyApple88 13
you could put the contents of the used condoms into her conditioner bottle. user her toothbrush to clean your toilet, or the ass of a homeless man. Then when she catches something, that's when you say "oops"
TheAspieDork 27
Of course this happened in New Jersey!