Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML
Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML
Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
SirThuswindburn 5
Some people pee when they're scared. And then there's you.
obnum 19
Did it fall back into your butt?? O.O
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Comments (185)
ronski 41
Shit to be you OP
DKjazz 20
OK, that didn't even make sense.
CharresBarkrey 16
These horrible puns are getting ridiculous.
ronski 41
151 - the normal phrase would be " sucks to be you", but, as the OP crapped himself I switched the first word for a bit of pun
ronski 41
159 - yes they are, but they have to be done. It's a shitty job, but someone has to pun it
SuperDanielNL 23
Shit hit the fan, damn I feel ya OP, well not really you unlucky smelly person.
igive 29
Or all the blood flowing to your brain, knocking you out!
KiddNYC1O 22
Did you buy that picture after the ride?
Meettitan 14
What about who was under him?
panicsdisaster 17
That turd must have been confused.
bReLiNg 18
You are a man bird!
SpideyRules 9
This is impossible given the way roller coasters work. Momentum takes you through the "upside-down" parts. You wouldn't stop until you hit the next set of brakes.
twinkiefeets 17
You've never heard of rollercoasters breaking down mid ride? I've seen it twice at great adventure.
_krystallynn_ 11
i watched it happen once on vacation. it does happen. scary shit lol
TheDrifter 24
If the roller coaster detects a major issue it will hit the emergency brakes wherever the cats happen to be. Or there was an issue with the last lift and they didn't have the momentum to make it to the next one.
DishnobFruitCum 5
What the hell? Sue the park!
Zomg_Okay 27
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE! SUE THEM! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!
KiddNYC1O 22
Now I'm not really a roller coaster fan but aren't there warnings posted?
mahli08 6
On what grounds? That the ride scared the shit out of him!
whostolemylama 12
For some reason I keep thinking of Weird Al Yankovich's song "I'll sue ya" whenever someone comments "sue" for such a petty reason.
whyistherumgone_ 10
Alright let me get this straight sir, you shit your pants and you are suing us? Hmmm your point is invalid.
jackal181 7
45, you're dumb. OP should clearly sue gravity, as the park probably had signs everywhere. (Sarcasm)
CharresBarkrey 16
155 - No no no. Clearly, this is the food manufacturer's fault of whatever food OP had eaten that day.
wvcheesehead1 9
Waiting for the FML ... I was walking under a roller coaster today and although I did not see it, I am sure an ostrich or pterodactyl flew overhead and shat on me.