Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML
Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML
Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
SirThuswindburn 5
Some people pee when they're scared. And then there's you.
obnum 19
Did it fall back into your butt?? O.O
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Comments (185)
obnum 19
Did it fall back into your butt?? O.O
kittycat1597 10
Haven't seen you in awhile noor, or I haven been looking that hard.
TheZee 12
Thanks for the image, Noor. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my brain with some bleach...
Harshdfml 14
It's gravity, not a vacuum cleaner!
BlueFlatts 20
And I thought only birds did that. (Not upside down of course). Look out below!
eddeeezzyy 19
Noor's comment reminded me of that South Park episode when Cartman invented the ability of eating through your ass and ******** out of your mouth.
_krystallynn_ 11
reverse human centipede? 0_o
cartedor 18
It depends on what kinda poo right? Solid or more liquid form
marti1497 10
Lmao exactly what I thought of...
fdupagain 11
There was also the South Park episode with the hybrid cars where they talk themselves up and shit falls out their mouth.
smileyxo4 5
2- Your comment had me laughing for a good two minutes.
Satoaoi 13
this shit made my day lmao
Ukeee_X 19
Could have been worse, could have been somebody else's. But I can't imagine that's not a horrifying experience.
7yzz 18
"********."
SirThuswindburn 5
Some people pee when they're scared. And then there's you.
21jason 9
Some people are humans and then theres you bumblebee.
BlueFlatts 20
Bumblebee hasn't earned his stripes yet :( Nice car nevertheless.
SirThuswindburn 5
Alas, Bumblebee is a Camaro.
TheRandomIndian 17
But can't he change into other cars?
onlychildFTW 34
I wonder where the shat went. It should have been under OPs butt so it shouldn't have gone anywhere.
v1kt4r 13
The scared shitless
DyslexicPanda 12
86, he was upside down -_- as in, the poop would have been above his head. Therefore, by the laws of physics.... Hopefully you can figure out the rest
llamafish 25
Laws of physics? I thought those were just suggestions!
xdeadnotsleeping 6
Whenever I get scared I always have the sudden urge to shit. I mean the saying 'scared the shit out of me' had to come from somewhere right?
heyguysitsjosh 8
I was reading this as I was pooping. I could only imagine if I was upside down.
shorty6823 28
I'm not the only one!
gloooooria 14
Did you wash your hands and phone after?
Kottonmouth247 4
haha me too
APersonalProblem 13
Same here lmfao
outoftown 27
#34, Why is this getting thumbed down? This is basic toilet hygiene: If it's in your hand, sanitize it, flush it, or toss it. Phones (like hands) don't clean themselves.
Suptnik 9
#66, maybe it has something to do with the fact that 34 sounds an awful lot like my mother?
saksxalmo 20
Use one hand for one thing and the other for another. Bam. Last I checked, it doesn't take two hands to wipe. And besides, you could just put the phone down/away before wiping and retrieve it after washing. Oh and btw, your floor and the money you use are covered in traces of fecal matter. :D
outoftown 27
#74, Then I probably do, too. Butt -- Germs don't care who says it. They stick on you and everything you touch unless you clean up. Consider this: When you have your OWN children, what will you tell them? Do as I say and not as I do?
luckyboye 9
Lmfao me too.
evilplatypus 39
This argument about washing after toileting reminds me of the classic Yale v. Harvard joke: A Harvard man and a Yale man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Harvard man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Yale man immediately makes for the exit. The Harvard man says, "At Harvard they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate." The Yale man replies, "At Yale they teach us not to piss on our hands."
MakeTodayADTR 20
If I learned one this from this post, it's that there are a lot of people that use this app as the new angry birds of the porcelain throne.
ShyAnn29 15
101, did you not finish the joke? Or am I just stupid? I'm not getting the joke lol
OhhhMaryy 12
sucks to be you! lol
sens3sfailing 25
There is a button for that, attention seeker.
MetallicaFTW 16
Creative.
Gestpacho88 12
The depth of thought that was put into this comment must have been astronomical
Connect 10
So many shit comments on this FML.
theawkwardlife 21
sounds like a shitty ride. I'm done.
ShannyAK 16
Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
IHaveNoKoolAid 10
All I could think of while reading this was the song chocolate rain. Mother of god that song does have meaning
nnnope 26
Some stay dry while others feel the pain. ohgod
Catkam623 27
All I could think of was him as a shitcicle with little drops falling off his back into the ppl below.
kittycat1597 10
That must suck for the person with shit on their face.
NINJAKITTY12345 11
Soon there will be another fml like this: Today I was at my local amusement park having a good time, then someone's shit just landed on me. FML
abu4u 26
Ahh crap! That sucks! FYL!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Stop being an attention *****, there's a button for that.
Zomg_Okay 27
Where is this attention whoring button of which you speak?
BountyBass 13
have u not seen Final Destination?
darth_luke 8
Did it hit you in the face when it started again?
Javee 17
Why would it? Wasn't he wearing underwear?