Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML
Happy days
Today, I desperately needed a mental health day, so I took the day off work and got some junk food and wine. A few hours later, I'm in hospital with gallstones and pancreatitis, needing an emergency surgery. My mental health day turned into multiple weeks off work, and a lot of pain. FML
Today, I woke up with chest pain. It hurt just to breathe, but my parents made me go to school anyway. We're now sitting in the emergency room. FML
No wings
Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML
Baseless accusation!
Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML
Get a second opinion
Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML
Third or fourth opinion?
Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML
Tick tock tick tock
Today, I was just released from hospital after a heart attack. As a 37 year-old woman with healthy habits and no family history of heart issues, the doctors have no idea why it happened. So instead of telling me how to change my lifestyle, they told me to proceed as usual, and hope that it doesn't happen again. FML
Waiting for a Xmas miracle
Today, I'm in agony. I can't eat or drink anything without being in pain, including water. Doctors don't know what's wrong with me, and can only prescribe me painkillers I can only take 3 times a day. FML
The results are in
Today, I went to get Covid test because I had chest pain and shortness of breath. Turns out, I just have depression and anxiety. FML
Top comments
SwiftFaux 0
Good lord. So yogurt for lunch, then?
LiyIa_fml 8
53 is an example of why I dislike my generation.
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Comments (194)
kyrintethron 0
First
uncookedyew 4
OMG who the hell cares!
SwiftFaux 0
Good lord. So yogurt for lunch, then?
RetardedBullFrog 4
What CAN you eat? ( that actually tastes good )
enonymous 9
6 Soylent Green.
SwiftFaux 0
I don't understand, how does OP deserve this?
molly2moon 0
11- She doesn't
xlord 27
Clearly OP is a Mexican drug lord. Or a hitlerbot from the future.... Geez use your imagination
cc_the_beast 6
Yeah...I'll go with hitlerbot
EpicPear 0
Well you can still eat meat and most breads now that's all you need :)
hectik02 3
^ bread comes from wheat (seeds) And almost all yogurt is friuty and is either contains skinned or seeded fruits O.o
JocelynKaulitz 28
Ever? I don't even think I could ever get used to that. I think I'll go eat all that now and be grateful that I can.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
lol id die without my booze.
GermanOnslaught 13
You're sixteen... Wtf?
MwahFMLS 6
I'd suggest steak? :) yum.
LiyIa_fml 8
53 is an example of why I dislike my generation.
GermanOnslaught 13
#57 I completely agree.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
first of all i was being sarcastic. second of all. don't worry about me i am not worried about any of you. (:
LiyIa_fml 8
Who said I was worried about you? Go drink your heart out for all I care. I simply said I dislike my generation.
CopeStraight 3
Damn right
kaprookie 3
67 - Our generation isnt that bad, if you overlook the alcohol, sluttiness, Justin Bieber, Twilight, Drugs and general dickheadness.
B3Y0ND 3
But it's pretty damn hard to overlook all that when it's EVERYWHERE.
vsat207 0
I think Rebecca black was forgotten in that list. You can't overlook the god forsaken generation that has her in it
MrKlutch 1
Wow good call ..someone hates Fridays ^
zombicidal 11
there is a cure one dose of lead aspirin to the brain
dre_bro11 12
63, it's because you're drunk that you're not worried.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I now love most of the people in this thread! That means there are ~ 4 less people on my generation hatelist!
JHandAC 4
72- Yeah, but you need to think about who raised us. They set up and began, along with their parents *our grandparents*, a lifetime of issues and worldwide problems. It's not fair to blame it all on our generation when we've practically been set up to our lifestyle from the start :/ I DO think we should clean up our acts though, but we need to think about we said we could have messy ones in the first place. Honestly, my mom is a raging bitch and I love her for it. All parents should be *evil*, the rulers of their kids so to speak. Parents shouldn't be *our friends*, they're there to set guidelines and rules for us to follow to prepare us for life. Some people parents just weren't like that. I'm glad my mom is the way she is, or I'd want to stay home forever and probably sit on the couch and get fat, but I don't want to stay home. I want to do something with my life, unlike some other Americans who give us a bad name. WOW, way of topic... Did you get the general idea, though?
Smokingweenies 3
*clap clap clap* Well said sir, well said.
Dragerian 0
102 yr a ****-tard. A) she was using satcasm B) sum ppl could offended by that
dre_bro11 12
135, I was being sarcastic too. But I guess you're not bright enough to understand that.
Laners561769 9
You can have weed and vanilla ice cream. Why are you complaining? (:
xcarxcrashx 9
Soylent green... Is... People! Love you 7
Mahomie123 0
smoke weed, eat yogurt
brandnewkey 14
You couldn't eat at least half of that with a heart attack anyway.
muffins650 1
Sounds like acid reflex.
nalia18 8
Actually op would probubly die with booze sooo... Either way youra dead person who doesnt know how to use sarcasm... Its not funny if you have to explain it.... I dont hate our generation... We have a whole line of comedians like tanya hardy :) And when i say like tanya hardy i mean we screw up our lives and then make jokes bout it
AnonymousTroll 2
124 - tlwnr
purpleprincess11 0
Get over yourself OP, ive had severe acid reflux for 2 years, nobe of the things listed above, plus no citrus, whole milk/cream, caffine or coffee, fried things, and things with a high fat content! And Im living fine!
ohxdamnxkay02 12
wow. id rather be drunk than to see all you people lecture on how other people live their lives and how they were raised. like i said i was just kidding! so i don't know why people act so uptight and take everything so serious. nobody is perfect (:
iSmerf 7
Some of them obviously get an early start on booze.
bearsgoroar 0
GERD? It's not too bad if you control it.
SwiftFaux 0
72- theres nothing left.
primadonna9396 16
Umm... Anyone who remembers the 80s (Milli Vanilli, pink spandex, mullets, Tony Danza, Devo, Quaaludes) can tell you your generation is no worse than ours. The only difference is that the ubiquity of camera phones makes it very easy to provide the world with a live feed of your bad decisions. As for the OP: I kind of just live with my peptic ulcers cause I don't fond a diet of white rice and plain yogurt worth it.
BuhxritNAYY 5
I hate this generation too. I'm 18 and it's gross that all of the incoming freshman to high school and everyone below just gets worse and worse. I can't wait to have kids that I can teach actual manners to, kindness, courtesy, and actually have a family instead of roomates I'd have to pay for. Meaning, I'd like to have family dinners, know whats going on in their lives, and not argue with them over dropping a spoon on the floor. Like really. I also am hoping everyone my age now does the same with their kids. We are all getting fat, lazy, and ******* assholes. It needs to be fixed.
BuhxritNAYY 5
Also, what IS a fruit WITHOUT skin...? Not lemons, oranges, apples, bananas, tomatoes, grapes, blueberries, watermelon, cantaloupe...I'm so confused.
P374RD3D 9
22 I think he meant your OWN imagination OP is a pirate who makes a living off putting his sword up ye booty and posting it to the internets
AunteyN 4
There's still plenty of food you can eat, fly about the chocolate though.
supersixfour 7
sounds like you've got... *puts on sunglasses* a broken heart YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
slushpup9696 12
No, she doesn't. That was a large part of the FML. Reading comprehension. U don't haz it.
ellybelly_502 4
I cant even think of any fruits with no skin
gntfmlingnow 12
76 - Maybe they need to peel the skin off?
ThatLooksSticky 16
Her heart is broken figuratively because she can't eat all the food she listed.
MrFancy 0
At least you still have bacon!
mofran 0
holy shit.
rkmepm 16
I like turtles
m0tl3ycru3 0
That's what god takes.
rickolette 0
Unholy shit?
drawmesunshine 17
147, Rainbows. And then he beats his wife.
lithiafaith 0
That sucks dude
nerdness 2
All your comments involve the word 'sucks'...
lithiafaith 0
Well I posted 2 things on here so big whoop
kareltje 17
Hmmm... That made me hungry...
Daralea 21
Mhmm, how about some rum and coke paired with apples and trail mix, and mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert....with ketchup(?)
SteveTheJanitor 6
Well at least you can have vegetables! Everyone loves vegetables!
baconstrips 12
And bacon, don't forget the bacon!!!
False_Stupidity 42
Mmmmmm, bacon strips! Suddenly, I'm hungry...
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
What! No booze... that's crap... call Jack Kavorkian.... or just do pot!
raphdragon02 8
Yep
ikickgingers 15
" Ever ask a nondrinker why they don’t drink? It’s the same ******* answer every time. You go ‘why don’t you drink?’ and they go ‘well, I don’t like the taste of it.’ NOBODY DOES! No one likes the taste of it. We drink because we ******* have to! No one ever has had a shot of Tequila and said ‘OH! That’s lovely! Next time I’ll have that instead of pudding it’s so delicious!’ We drink because life’s shit and you go and do whatever you can to get through the ******* day.” — Jim Jefferies Yup that about sums it up.
satomi_ishida 0
F our lives if alcohol ever does become delicious. XD I probably still wouldn't drink it because I hate the burning sensation in my throat.
davek 36
zzzdeleted
False_Stupidity 42
I don't drink beer 'cause it tastes like shit, but some other forms of alcohol are quite tasty..
ohxdamnxkay02 12
actually #96. most people don't drink alcohol for the taste.. they drink it for the effects it has after you had about 10 shots.
Norwegian_Wood 4
Well, my friend and I must be really strange then because we don't even taste the vodka in most drinks. And I've had a straight lemon vodka shot before, and liked it. (That was the bar's version of a lemon drop.) And I don't drink enough to get drunk or really feel any effects, so I'm not too drunk to taste the alcohol.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Nutella =(
lawrahhh 1
So... You have to be healthy? That must be hard for an American.
MrBoredGuy 1
Yeah because everything OP listed was unhealthy Go **** yourself
mejiiaa 0
Mc Donald's FTW XD
FYLDeep 26
#34 It's not... You should be eating fruits. They are in fact healthy (aside from the pesticides).
n0pants3ver 0
she was being sarcastic
bamagrl410 31
Not every American is fat or even unhealthy for that matter, so you can stfu now thanks.
FYLDeep 26
Re-read #34's sentence. She's got some kind of double negation thing going on. It doesn't make any damn sense even if you do read it sarcastically.
bamagrl410 31
52, you're right. I noticed that too but I figured I'd just be wasting my breath. Ah well, we all mostly got the point I guess hahaha.
YayFlameWarz 9
I always love reading the Euro hate comments toward Americans. Entertainment.
You_Need_Soap 6
Lawrahh has America envy. KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK "Hello, Do you have a green card? No? Sorry, this is a private party!" ~SLAM~
You_Need_Soap 6
Lawrahh has America envy. KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK "Hello, Do you have a green card? No? Sorry, this is a private party!" ~SLAM~