Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were taking a stroll when I was mugged at knife point. My boyfriend did nothing and just stood there while the mugger took my purse and cellphone. His reason? The other day, I'd "disrespected" him by “texting another guy.” I’d texted the guy, “Happy birthday.” FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
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Top comments
GrinchFu1 27
You mean your ex-boyfriend, right!?
Lachie20001 21
Time to ditch him instead.
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Comments (208)
yadeadnan 5
Bullshit detected
carolyna96 3
consider this a break-up.
Maloonatic 20
That moment you realise you have a girlfriend not a boyfriend.
quackImapenguin 16
What does gender have to do with this?
Kempeth 5
FTFY #56: That moment you realize your partner has no balls but is a dick.
WOTAN1488 24
That's ******* embarrassing and pathetic. I am genuinely sorry. That piss poor excuse of a boyfriend is the one who deserves to be beat up and mugged. Find a man who will actually be a man.
Drnknmonkey08 12
I would go to his place and rip off his balls, that is if he actually has any since he did that to you. he can't even call himself a man! o seriously hope you are okay!
SlipSpaceGixxer 13
what a complete ass
False_Stupidity 42
Boyfriends man card revoked by popular vote on FML.
headlock911 17
Ditch him quicker than he left
pris0027 19
What a coward! Hope you dumped his ass.
Sheh_fml 25
Being scared of a mugger is completely normal, even for a guy. No one should expect him to try and fight an armed attacker. It is the moronic comment that put the OP in what could have been a life-threatening situation so he could escape that is the real problem here. I could probably never (and wouldn't want to!) trust someone again who I knew would literally sacrifice me to save himself.