Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
damadrappa 4
Someones jealous
GuitarFail123 9
wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (239)
shots1996 8
Not cool. His dads a freak
BetterThings 1
better let him kno
crazydanny9870 0
If he makes money keep them both. You get the best of both worlds. That's weird tho. Lol
MisaAmaneABH 8
PEDO BEAR ALERT!
kayseelayne 3
Uhm...call the police?
nerdy96birdy 8
Quite flattering in some sense
chubby_choco 17
o_o Confidence is key and all, but...uh...yeah, I'd threaten him with a sexual harassment lawsuit if he tries that shit again. Women are becoming very dependent on those, but the fact is, they have their place in the legal system. It's for crap like that.
lesbian221 1
Ew ew ew
burnsie22 5
Tell his wife he said that
lpboy03 0
Lol I can imagine