Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
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Top comments
damadrappa 4
Someones jealous
GuitarFail123 9
wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....
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Comments (239)
peru23 0
You called him I bet
xXNickiiBabyXx 11
omgh thats sooo creepy...and not knowing you or your bfs age....im assuming his father has always liked younger women...thts kinda creepy fck :S and esp his sons women...
AlexiaProto 0
Omg stop it that is so creepy. Hahaha. I was at a guys house for the first time and we were watching bridesmaids. It was the opening scene and his step dad was about to leave the house then turned to us smiling and said I'll be back in a half our so you two better be quick. I thought that was creepy but you have me beat by a landslide.
jtthegr8 26
Bahaha omg o.o
rosia1 0
now THAT is SCARYY!!!!!
xxfallencorpse 0
no comment o.O
f5m5l5 2
funny shit right there!
starrDpie 0
My ex boyfriends father said the same thing to me!! Creeped me out
tankadin37 0
Oh, dear God. Augh...
manichimon 2
I just want to know whether OP called or not.