Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML
Genius mode
Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML
Jump start
Today, I left my lights on in my car, which I only realized at lunchtime, so I made sure to turn the lights off, and tried to start it. The battery was dead, so I called my dad to jump start it before I got back from my game. I later came back from the game and the lights were on. He'd left the lights on after jump starting it. FML
Piece of shit car
Today, I went to Auto Zone because my car was having trouble starting, and I thought it was the battery. The guy checked it with their reader, and confirmed it was dying. Right after he put the battery in, my starter died. I had to get my car towed to the shop. FML
Life on the North Pole
Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML
Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML
Today, after having my car back for a few months after a $2,000 repair, I got in, only for it to not start. Don't worry. It's not the battery. It's the engine, which was fine yesterday. FML
Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML
Today, the little bell in my car that lets you know your keys are still in your ignition went out. How did I find out? I locked myself out of both my house and my car. FML
Dumbass
Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the driver's side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML
Top comments
icallbullshit 3
Derp.
BuffaloSabres134 8
It's happened to me before, I felt pretty stupid.
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Comments (145)
icallbullshit 3
Derp.
LuckyTroll 6
Herpa Derp
MargieDrury 1
Not necessary.
EvilTwerp 12
If you got a manual, you wouldn't have had to have it in park and make yourself look stupid.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Agreed 48. Manual transmissions FTW. You can even get better gas mileage or faster acceleration depending on your shifting. No slush boxes in anything I'd buy.
Cad6 24
OP, you auto know how to fix a problem like that. Gimme a break! However, I don't Acclaim to be an expert in puns. But I think that it's my Civic duty to let you know that I just can't a Ford to give you a Saab story. So i'll just give you a break and tell you this: If you drive a car into a tree, you'll see how a Mercedes bends.
NoobyNed 4
^Aha, very punny. Very punny indeed.
KairoFallin 0
56 - Agreed also. You forgot to put that it is more fun to drive, AND more safe because you focus on driving not anything else.
spekledworf 18
One thing that blows my mind is when people buy sports cars and muscles car with an auto transmission. It just takes away the thrill of driving! You might as well drive a friggin prius, cuz you'll look like a tool either way
False_Stupidity 42
Not all manuals are idiot proof, mine for example requires the clutch pedal to be in before the engine will start... I can just imagine someone that didn't know this sitting there and panicking over it.
leogirl95 12
Believe it or not, I have done the exact same thing. We can be derps together.
KairoFallin 0
106 - I never understood those people. 108 - pretty much all manual cars need to have the clutch depressed to start the car, if not it will do nothing. Remote starters dont count.
False_Stupidity 42
#111 maybe all modern ones perhaps, but everything I've driven before my current car was just turn the key and she started, so long as it wasn't parked in gear (then it would jump forward)
ShyAnn29 15
I've tried driving a manual, it didn't work so well, so I prefer automatics
KairoFallin 0
115 - Possibly I never driven a older manual only 98' and newer. 118 - it's really not hard if thats all you have give it 2-4 weeks and you will be driving Manuel no problem. When I learned I got so frustrated I wanted to sell my car and just get an auto. Gave it 2 more weeks, drive manual really well and it's a blast!
sparkrok 8
115 - very true! I drive a '67 chevy c20 pickup with a four speed, and back when those things were made they had juuuust figured out that the world wasn't flat. so there isn't too many idiot protection systems... out in the pasture and don't feel like working the clutch? drop her in first or second, hit the key and off she goes :)
Yodaevil 4
Manuals of the old days lurched forward and did a number on the starter if you did not use the clutch, just about everyone that ever driven one has done this. :) also the new automatics are faster than the manuals, Porsche has all but done away with sticks. But if youre like me, it's not about that .5 second difference, it's about ripping the gears!
zeks 1
how'd you get your license?
Torva_fml 16
Well, you see... A driving test usually consists of putting your seatbelt on, pretending to check mirrors, starting the engine and driving. They obviously did well. I'm uncertain as to how a car wasn't in park if The engine was off...
Llamassss 21
You can turn the car off in neutral but you cannot take the keys out of the ignition.
Torva_fml 16
I see.... I guess I've never done that, so I wouldn't know. :)
starwind3438 9
OP got her "license" from a Cracker Jack box.
chris36taylor 2
Very carefully. Smart ass
tklone329 0
How do u ask such stupid questions?
LuckyTroll 6
How didnt you notice? YDI
WhoopteeDooDoo 8
it happened to me when I was 15. I had a restricted license at went to lunch when I shouldn't have been driving. I got back and freaked out when I couldn't get the keys out. it took me a few minutes but I figured it out.
MargieDrury 1
Well, it's better than you to get upset figuring it out.
LuckyTroll 6
Not necessary
MargieDrury 1
Yeah, okay your cool. Lol
LuckyTroll 6
You hate the world, no idea why.
MargieDrury 1
Your one god damn troll and no I ******* love the world.
_MidnightLuna_ 17
You're*
CryMoreFMLs 15
Ya'll needa settle down now. Just cook up some waffles n' pancakes and be friendly.
MargieDrury 1
Lol. It doesn't even matter, anymore.
drsovereign 2
That's a here your sign, not a FML.. YDI anyway
MargieDrury 1
Some people's problems are greater to them then it'd be to other people.
BuffaloSabres134 8
It's happened to me before, I felt pretty stupid.
DrumMajor 5
I hear ya. It happened to me about a week after I got my license. I was freaking out because I thought I broke my car.
alwaysrunnin 3
Same! I was in a rush and freaked out when I couldn't turn the car off. All I had to do was put it in park.
BuffaloSabres134 8
LOL, when it happened to me I sat in the mall parking lot for 45 minutes, i also only had my license for about a week.
DrumMajor 5
Haha! I just called my dad, nearly in tears because he recently gave me the car, and he showed up, turned on the ignition, and put it in park. I felt stupid, but also quite relieved.
BuffaloSabres134 8
I would've done that, but I was at a mall that I was about 30 miles away, and I was not allowed to even go that far. Panicking for about an hour was my best solution.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
I did that at a gas station. I burst into tears and called someone to come give me a jump. They pointed it out :P
_MidnightLuna_ 17
I can understand someone doing something so dumb if they just recently got their license... but come on, if you've been driving for a long time, you should know your vehicle well enough not to do something this stupid.
elmousey 5
I put in remote starters for a living and get calls like this all the time. People will remote start their car and then step on the brake (which shuts off the car) and get it in reverse without putting their key in. Then they can't start the car, and call us up all angry. We simply let them know that there is a short circuit between the headrest and the steering wheel.
tak307 1
Hah I've totally done this before.
ladyLALAA 29
I'm more one for locking my keys in my car. These days I've learnt how to break into it myself haha.
sparkrok 8
I recently had to help a woman in a parking lot that locked her keys in her car. the catch? the engine was still running...
stormchaser24 24
The same thing happened to me too. I got it in 30 min. Lol.
Heinousness 0
Your car hates you.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Your comments always get thumbed down. Try putting more thought into them.
Heinousness 0
Let me think about it... No. I don't care what others think.
Heinousness 0
Besides, my comments usually have inside jokes or sarcasm( this one for example). I also get good ones in sometimes. As I'm told a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes.
Heinousness 0
Why does everyone hate this? Damn.
Heinousness 0
BTW, 96, what exactly do you mean by more thought? I speak my mind, basically.
irrevelant 10
This happened on my bicycle
cosmosis 12
O RLY??? Did you make yourself look like a fucktard and call the AAA because you couldnt start the engine on your bicycle?
Heinousness 0
Rotflmfao (rolling on the floor laughing my ******* ass off). You made my day, 103.
Heinousness 0
WTF. Why does everyone looking at this FML thumb me down? **** My Life.
Michaelsgirl04 9
when you say something as common as "roflmfao" you really don't have to explain what it means...