Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
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Top comments
liquidhydrogen 6
What a bitch... You need to install secret cameras in your room to catch her in action. Then show it to your dad. Only solid proof will win this war.
alex_622 22
Your stepmom sounds like such a lovely woman
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Comments (112)
Ipsum629 13
I thought you said step mom, not demonic lord of evil.
ArashiGirl 13
Well...If push comes to shove....Call the cops. Or if your grandmother REALLY hates her, (Nothing like pissing off the Mother-In-law) get her on your side.
otumboo 10
i feel that your dad should have believed his own blood daughter than taking sides with your "loving and care" step mom
jayeterror775 18
Now THAT is a damn good idea for revenge.
jayeterror775 18
I say that for three reasons. #1. That would be straight torturous for anybody =). #2. There would be no way she could prove he did it. #3. I'm pretty sure she would never even suspect it was OPs fault. It's the perfect revenge. Oh and also coffee is another laxative as it is hahaha.
ZombieSazza 34
You need a secret camera in your room, if she's putting pot in your room then who knows where this will end.
jayeterror775 18
Oh and OP should mix in hella stool hardeners with everything his step-mom eats or drinks, then after a few days mix in hella laxatives that would just force her to shit. Also the OP should make sure to avoid stool softeners hahahaha.
CheerBaby97 9
Tell him to let you take a drug test to prove it isn't yours!
sdelaney83 1
I say declare war, maybe she "cheats" on your dad not to mention where did she get the weed? I say shes probably the pot head..you can certainly retaliate, i sure as hell would
rivaraven 35
Am I the only one here who wouldn't give two ***** if I lived with a stepdad or a stepmom? They might be with my real parent, but over my dead body they have any control over me.