Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
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Top comments
liquidhydrogen 6
What a bitch... You need to install secret cameras in your room to catch her in action. Then show it to your dad. Only solid proof will win this war.
alex_622 22
Your stepmom sounds like such a lovely woman
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Comments (112)
Guardian88 21
And the plot thickens!!!!
RainbyBelle 1
Cinderella all over again, yeesh.
ebrainer1 9
Get drug tested and shove the results in dad's face. That is, assuming you don't actually toke.
Cloureed 9
Tell your dad you'll take a piss test to prove your innocence, and ask your step mom (in fromt of your dad) to do the same to be a good role model.
laylaeve 9
I'd plant used condoms in their bedroom when you know she was there an he wasn't it'll be great
VolitairianArrow 17
record your next conversion with her acting this way and show it to your dad.
ritsuka001 13
Just tell them to drug test you.
Mama4ddk 15
If it isn't yours and she did what you said tell him to go buy you a drug test and you will take it with me in front of him but after it comes back clean you want an apology from him and her out of the house forever.
lalallaaidk 6
bitch bitch bitch. grow up and become rich and successful and only invite your dad over. Hire a doorman for the day and have him refuse to let her in ahahahahaha
FUCKTARD_HATER 15
Well this means war you now need to reciprocate the attack the tactics that will work the best are used condoms, drugs (a f**k load of 'em stached somewhere your dad will look in but where she has personal effects stored to hint that it's her's and it must be a place where you would never want to put your hands in to give you the excuse why would I go stick my hands in there???(her underwear drawer, your dad's underwear drawer, etc,etc,etc))