Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML
Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
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Comments (185)
ducky42 1
Your step dad has no right. no legal rights anyways. Have fun if there's a fire!!
domking1315 20
Yep im sure shes gonna have fun BURNING... Freaking idiot...
Grimmerie 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If it's his house, he can renovate whatever way he wants.
LightningCactus 12
Not when it's a safety hazard, especially if that person is a minor, which I assume op is.
Cad6 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yea #1, the dad obviously has no rights over his own son.
ifoundalaska 11
Daughter
thiscrazything 1
Step dad.... He doesn't have the same rights as her father.
btown1616 0
As #46 said that is a major safety hazar so by law he technically cant do that
LightningCactus 12
We're also forgetting that op has rights to her own safety too.
PInK_ExCiTeD 7
Is a girl you moron -.-
CookieGirl4ever 13
Everyone just hates this comment because of the last sentence... he was being sarcastic... •~•
hellbilly205 17
Did anyone just stop and think OP could just break open the window if there ever happens to be a fire...
capper44 18
#135: yea sure, and hurt herself with broken glass while jumping out... Mr. Nobel price winner lol
hellbilly205 17
153- i meant break all the glass -_-
LightningCactus 12
Even so, glass shards will most likely be left
BruisedGiraffe 15
Either get a few cuts on the hands and knees, or burn alive. Hmmm
Dmars444 4
Am I the only person thinking its not illegal to lock a ******* window? Christ, people get security screens put on their window! That's not illegal!
THswagPLAYA 1
54. it said STEP DAD, therefore he is technically not his son so stfu
swoozie23 6
Put your own lock on his bedroom door
JustinComments 3
Start sneaking out through his window , see how he stops you there
theHIGHroad2 5
Damn right you're ******!
thiscrazything 1
Remove the locks, and just let them lay on the window so they still liked locked, either that or keep a hammer near the window, just in case you have to get out in a hurry.
coldashell 23
Call the Fire Marshal. They would probably assist you taking the locks off and presenting your stepdad with a nice fine.
thiscrazything 1
^ look. Damn IPhone always changing my words!
ladyLALAA 29
This may be a silly question, but can you really get fined for having locks on the windows?
gunmania0 12
Yes if it's hazardous to people in the environment, e.g failing to leave a building because your ******* dad has put locks on the window.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Put an arrow through his knee.
sougstad 7
You should join the fire department
stevenJB 25
That'll do no good for her escaping if theirs A fire in her house. :/
JustCallMePic 2
What the **** are you two dipshits talking about?
Mister_Triangle 21
I'm a fire department and I can confirm that we can't fit through windows.
sougstad 7
Well asshole, I'm talking about the fact that should there indeed be a fire, he can now either be trained to put out the fire or escape his house. But your brain must be way to simple to comprehend that. It's gotta be a challenge to be you I bet
mpj13 8
Oh burn
Samuu212 11
I see what you did there
TheDog6 24
I think we all did 64.
sparkrok 8
not me. I read what he did there.
justindrew14 29
110 lol good one
blackheart24 10
Well? Have you been sneaking out?
TheZee 12
Well, have you always been this stupid? "Well" on its own is not a question, not one that makes sense anyway.
wetqueefa 5
You can only use that highly used joke in some situations. This, is not one of them.
smilefaces8 2
Make a escape hatch through the roof :)
keven501 12
Hmmm great parents.
J1hill33 12
Well actually, you're not supposed to open a window during a fire because it just let's in more oxygen to fuel the flame. Just saying.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
If the only way to get out of the house is through the window (say, for example, the hall on the other side of the door is on fire) then I'm pretty damn sure the fire fighters would prefer you open a window and get the hell out of the building rather than stay in the burning house.
StonerkidDGK420 0
You open the window to escape if there is a fire and you cannot exit through your door. Just saying.
luccmon 6
You are right it does add more oxygen but it also let's smoke out and you're supposed to get out of the window as soon as you open it.
J1hill33 12
I wasn't assuming that the fire would be right on the other side of the door.
kkjkidonthate 4
Then if there is a fire use his face to smash the window.
rubberduckie94 13
Get a large hammer to break the window if there is an emergency.
upyourzlolz 11
In case of fire: 1) Lay down 2) Die
finished 10
Good idea