Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
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Top comments
mxpklx 12
Lisa Simpson? Is that you?
comedybreak 20
More like f your dad's life for having to stoop so low. FYL. OP
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Comments (86)
demonmonkey 13
Whats going to happen when the neighbors notice they're missing a chair and then they see it at your house?
omarzrgz 3
Take the cake back!
omarzrgz 3
Ohhhhhhhhh! I readi it wrong! xD
inlove72 11
Lmfao I wish my dad was that awesome!!
chuckcloninger 12
You're a fuc*ed up little turd. You deserve the completed screwed up and dysfunctional life that is headed your way. Your only role in life is to make yourself and everyone you come into contact with miserable and you will never be happy and never enjoy your life. Please never leave Canada.
inlove72 11
I'm having a wonderful life. I'm not a f***ed up turd. Why you have issues with Canadians? We are awesome.
taracrane1 7
This is the funniest thing I have ever read.
gonad_gobbler 1
maybe he was going to donate it to chairity
perdix 31
Actually, it wasn't a theft because you paid for the chair with cake. There may be some fraud issues because your neighbors did not know that the cake was a payment, not a gift.
LarryLaDouche 13
Who the hell wouldn't want to trade cake for a chair? It would have to be a recliner with a mini-fridge and rocket thrusters for me to not take that deal!
coopdaddy267 5
Lol sounds like something that would happen in a movie
GoW_Chick 15
A cake for a chair, cake for a chair?! MADNESS, ABSOLUTE MADNESS I SAY!
mackdeezy 22
sounds like something my dad would do.... no wait, he only steals from his own family.... namely his kids and wife
croso88 5
Damn it that's what happened to my deck chair wtf?!