Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
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Top comments
mxpklx 12
Lisa Simpson? Is that you?
comedybreak 20
More like f your dad's life for having to stoop so low. FYL. OP
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Comments (86)
vettle 6
Oh come on! There must be more to the story!
ProhibitionRose 14
. . . What?!
badmike89 6
I say win for your dad that sounds like a great conversation starter something tells me your dad did it more to be funny rather than mean
johnnyboy182 7
a cake for a plastic chair...a fair compensation O-o
DaSandman 9
sounds like your dad is a real ******* asshole if he welcomes new neighbours like that...
MrsUresti 8
Yummy cake!!!!
hateevryone 15
and he did that for a plastic chair? yea, he is an idiot.
zach8771 3
Your dad is hilarious!
BAxSoulCity 1
so thats where my lawn chair went
brittany1655 5
my dad was no better. we went to a carnival when i was 7 years old and we played a game- u piick a duck and if the duck has a coin in its mouth u win... so he dropped a penny in in attemp to con them out a teddy bear.