Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
So she says he wasn't any good in the sack, she was there too. It could be that she isn't all that great either.
faxe 0
you've been getting advice on how to sleep with a guy for months???? If that's true, you can't blame her for sleeping with him first.
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Comments (20)
cmac86 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well that sucks. but you should wait till you're married.
CptZoe 10
God, a shit shag for life??!
DynamicDave 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#2 is right. The world needs more people like him/her and I.
NotInAGoodWay 0
Haha, ouch!!:) you should wait until marriage... just saying... don't let yourself go, he'll probably dump you.. just like the girl giving advice://
FAKEstfu 0
OP is pathetic....
Witchcraft_fml 5
Soooo...he's slept with other people...Does it matter if one of them was a coworker? Duhrr.
perdix 31
I think the funny part is that the co-worker was giving the OP advice about the guy while sleeping with him, too. I like the message the co-worker sent: "He's not good enough for me, so he's perfect for you." Maybe if the co-worker got off her high horse and lowered her standards, they could have a threesome of mediocre sex. That's lukewarm, man!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Mmm, yummy. Sounds perfectly semi-kinky.
CallMeHush 1
So she says he wasn't any good in the sack, she was there too. It could be that she isn't all that great either.
Icutu7 0
EPIC................FAIL!
faxe 0
you've been getting advice on how to sleep with a guy for months???? If that's true, you can't blame her for sleeping with him first.
Lightz_Camera_Me 0
Yea he's really not that good but i hear Dan's the man!!! Lmao
anonacs 0
Maybe she's lying so you back off, would not surprise me at all.
Spitfire86 0
I kind of agree with that. Possibility of her lying because she decided she likes him too and wants to take him herself. But either way, does it matter if he's good or bad in bed? We all have our own standards on that matter. And a relationship isn't all based on sex. If you likke him, date him and see what happens for yourself.
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Hahaha Single White Female, anyone? Watch out or you'll get a stiletto to the temple.