Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML
Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
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Top comments
IdontWanna69 8
Might want to consider getting a rape whistle.
jmk1469 5
You should quit the job or file a lawsuit.
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Comments (171)
docscientist 10
Maybe he's messing with you because you apparently go along with it.
vucui 21
Don't you get it? You're acting out a fight scene! But no, seriously. Quit or file complaint.
Myo_fml 20
I hope you're into fisting because it sure sounds like he is! :)
MrArmy 1
I read this about a month ago when I moderated it.
rcgirl2 11
I would quit now before he pushes your fist into a DIFFERENT place.
MrsSarcasm 3
Is your boss Adam West?
iilovecokee 6
I just tried this out and all it did was change the appearance of my cleavage. The conclusion of my experiment is that your boss may just be a pervert or is going to invent one fabulous bra.
zeldaluvr2007 15
Troll boss is trollin'. He knows he freaks you out. :P
courtenator 0
That's sexual abuse I believe so file a lawsuit!
M31269004 4
You should tell someone about that!!