Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, after losing five pounds from being sick, my first customer at work greeted me with, “Aaaahhhh, you’re expecting!” I’m not pregnant. I guess I didn’t lose my gut. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
robd007 20
I don't understand why people always make that statement. They should be asking if you have any kids yet or something like that so it doesn't become an awkward moment like this.
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-coworker! Wait! You do! Who says wishes don’t come true?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-coworker! Wait! You do! Who says wishes don’t come true?
robd007 20
I don't understand why people always make that statement. They should be asking if you have any kids yet or something like that so it doesn't become an awkward moment like this.
boopingsnoot 25
See, if a man grabbed me by my muffin top, instant karate chops and yelling. He crossed a big line before he even announced your "pregnancy"
PhantomCrevan 8
It doesn't say the coworker was male anywhere in the post, and this sort of behavior is more common for women than men. Partly because women are largely socialized into liking babies or at least acting like they do, but mostly because it would not fly for a guy to grab a woman without permission, even in the abdominal area. Which, to be honest is kind of bullshit and it should be considered equally rude and socially unacceptable for anyone to grab anyone else without their permission.
Lobby_Bee 18
Yes, pregnant with a food baby.
Mai Maehata 4
I’ be had kinda similar experience. in a bus a woman offered her seat saying to me ”you’re pregnant. Please take a seat”. I replied “no, I’m not. no need to do this.”We BOTH got embarrassed. If I hadn’t told the truth, ONLY I would have got embarrassed.......
kristinjeaneen 21
I’d be so embarrassed
CoyoteOldOne 17
I have learned that the easiest way to know that a lady is not pregnant is if you are thinking of congratulating her on her pregnancy, and she has not told you she is pregnant. Works every time.
DanielleinDC 34
What kind of moron just grabs someone's belly without her consent? I don't care if you used to work with them, that's just unacceptable.