Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a picture that my boss’s girlfriend posted. I walked into his office and said, “DUDE! You gotta set me up with that hot chick in the Facebook photo with you and your girlfriend! I would totally hit that!” It was his daughter. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
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Top comments
ian3866 12
Awesome dad
IllestRated 17
At least daddy loves you, he just doesn't want you to get hurt.
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Comments (48)
worldclassrager 41
Well now is there am opportunity? Still you should be able to date who you want
MrHernandez530 10
A chance for a relationship to start And really girls* did you have to say cute? I feel a lot of judgement here now -_- It's like only attract people get together these days
kat_moore15 12
My dad to every guy I've brought to meet my family has sat in a chair in the corner of my living room in the dark... Just glaring at the guy. No wonder all guys run off afterwards.
guyssite 4
If you honestly think they ran off because your father glared at them, then you should probably sit down and think agian.
erikahall21 9
Sounds like my dad
kotake 7
I came from an emotionally unhealthy household, so let me give you a good lessen in guilt. 1. Wait till your dad comes home. 2. Cry. Sob. Let the waterworks flow. 3. When he asks you what's wrong, discuss how you feel so ugly. 4. When he starts trying to cheer you up with compliments, mention how no other guys says those things to you. 5. Bring up guys from work that you know he's threatened as proof that guys your age do not find you attractive. 6. Feast on his guilt. Let it nourish you. Or just use it to buy stuff. Guilt may not be acceptable currency, but dollar bills given out of guilt are.
MrZsDad 19
Damn. You are the reason I am glad I have sons!
maggiefox 25
**** blocked by the big man
bombielol 20
well at least now you have a better chance wiyh him since you know :)
titibug823 11
Ask him out. He doesnt work for Daddy anymore, so Dad cant threaten his Job. Also, have a talk with Dad about him threatening potential suitors. Protecting you is one thing when you're little, and its nice that he still wants to, but he has to let you make your own choices in love.
BiNeko 12
Dad's done his job well hahahahahh
mchmelev1993 10
Lolololol dads always win . Fyl