Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. As I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
Today, I got a Facebook friend request from an ex-schoolmate from my high school. He was the same piece of shit who used to bully me at the time. He's now a psychologist. I guess my life was meant to be bollocks. FML
Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I found out my old high school class has a friend group on Facebook, so I applied to join but received a very frank and nasty message. Apparently they all remember me as “the Bullying Mean Girl” and all voted not to let me join. I was a nerd in high school and I was nice to everyone. FML
Today, I got my first Facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
I’d contact the police. Sounds very threatening to me.
abigiggles 39
Great, a “nice guy.”
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Comments (15)
TomeDr 25
I’d contact the police. Sounds very threatening to me.
abigiggles 39
Great, a “nice guy.”
bloopaloop 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You obviously wronged him in the past, you should see what you can do to make him feel better about it and do it
pins91 27
Wow.
ari330 21
You're a ******* idiot
Hempseed 27
Are you ******* serious? It's not OP's responsibility to coddle this little ******** or cater to his bullshit.
Dave_Davington 34
Never underestimate the power of a good bluff. Go online and bulk order as many prosthetic dicks as you can reasonably afford. Cut the bases of them off as raggedly as you can, and dip them in fake blood. Now, go to his house and fill his mailbox with your fake severed dicks followed by sending him a picture of yourself holding a blood soaked rusty pair of bolt cutters. Rinse and repeat on a daily basis, perhaps by changing up the location where you leave your pile of cocks just to keep things fresh. Some possibilities include on his doorstep, all over his car, glued to his front door (especially the doorknob), sent to his workplace via courier and even slipped into his pockets while he's out and about. If all goes well, his threats should turn into him begging for mercy within a week.
zuckerburg 21
I hope you replied with: "I was at work, like a normal well-balanced adult, you entitled piece of shit asshole. I will be contacting everyone from school with a screenshot of what you have sent me, including asking them to please send this around, since your immature cunty nature also included a threat, which I take very seriously, I will be contacting the police as well. Enjoy your small penis, I'm sure no girl would touch it after this is public"
RichardPencil 32
When you want to ghost someone, don’t forget to block them!
pins91 27
She was at work....
RichardPencil 32
I understand that. Where are her priorities? What kind of workaholic nerd goes dark on social media? You can always get a new boss — followers are hard to find!
GamerChickxoxo 16
contact the police, and use anything he said to get him charged with "uttering threats" he will be arrested and probably freak out,hopefully strike police and gain some additional charges.
Sonotsuave 37
That’s literally harassment, of the verbal and threatening behavior lol. Even if it’s just messages you don’t want it to escalate so I’d contact the police to be safe, show them the evidence, make sure they have a nice complete profile on em and block all contact immediately
Lady Julia KaNeko 9
r/niceguys
killuah210 8
contact the police to start a paper trail if he starts stalking, the run away.