Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML
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Top comments
IllestRated 17
That's quite the SITuation.
tellyc 27
Atleast they are obedient ?
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Comments (140)
tellyc 27
Atleast they are obedient ?
GreatGeak 8
I'm gonna get crap for this but... ...a gun is pretty favorable in this kind of situation.
jman26 11
#17 I agree with you. If a watchdog doesn't help, at least OP would have a backup plan.
scice03 8
Guns do whatever you tell them to do..
kasuke06 5
Only criminals get guns in California. Because, taking guns out of the hands of law abiding citizens will totally make the streets safer... just not for them, for the criminal who no longer has any fear of reproach. Texas and well, most of the south is full of extremely polite, nice people, because they're all well armed and know that everyone else is. Kinda xenophobic, but they're working on it. Turns out, making people be nice to each other is as simple as arming all of them.
HersheySquirts 17
#24 Every city has bad people. There is no way around it. It's life and the live among us. We all have to figure out how to live with them though.
Welshite 40
#24: I live and was raised in the South, and can assure you that people don't respect others simply because they are under the assumption that they are surrounded by weapons. We are raised to respect people for being people. I know more people who don't own a weapon and never have any intention of owning a weapon, than those that do. I'm not against guns, but I think the Southern gun-toting stereotype is misleading and frightening to others.
Austino_yo 11
No...just no
kasuke06 5
yeah, but they're a lot less likely to do anything when everyone can respond in kind. Where would you mug someone: LA or Houston?
askullnamedbilly 33
Guns are made to kill people, not incapacitate them. If a crazed killer is about to attack you, a gun is pretty useless unless you manage to hit them in a vital part of their anatomy. Non-fatal gunshot wounds hurt, but they don't keep people from having a go at you and retaliating. That is why guns are shitty self-defense weapons - you want a weapon that immediately incapacitates your attacker, no matter where you hit them. Might I suggest a taser? It has the added benefit of not killing the perpetrator, which is pretty useful in case the 'robber' you're so scared of is actually a family member you didn't recognize in the dark.
OBTrice 15
What do you mean by "sides"
TheMathMajor 26
Can we not have a debate about guns on FML? It kind of kills the mood (pun intended)
rocker_chick105 31
38- but when the effects of the taser wear off, what do you do then?
ptoka 20
30, I live near Houston and I can tell you there are plenty of muggings, and violence. Get your facts straight before you start posting shit like that.
ninety 25
@38 - you do know tasers don't actually knock people out, right? As soon as you quit using it the other guy can just get right back up.
1tsmenoah 20
That's a good thing, but why didn't the guy getting robbed actually do something. Even if I had no weapon I would try to protect myself.
Rawr6591 21
he did.... hence telling the dogs to attack...
FoxHunt9119 19
To obedient if you ask me.
IllestRated 17
That's quite the SITuation.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
i See what you dId There
ElricMustang 23
About 200 people saw, actually.
tiernang 21
He capitalized S I T. It still was stupid.
jenjen2633 17
Seems like someone needs to let it go
firestream 9
you need to let it go oh leting it go
Grimnirwher9 21
More like a shituation.
carterjanelle 9
But I love puns
expectcriticism 13
If you don't like then that's your opinion, as you can see 300+ people do enjoy puns. So your individual opinion amongst everyone else's doesn't actually matter in this situation. If you don't like the pun made then thumb it down and move on with your life. it's not that hard to do.
DracoSpirita 21
102 - Your lyrics were a bit off. Nice try though. ^^
glowbaby 15
#128 stop pretending to be intelligent by posting long-winded comments. People like this pun because it's funny. Oh, and how is the entire concept of puns too old? Jokes don't have expiration dates.
aimzskee 30
She can't, she's frozen.
antonia789 17
Well he definitely has his priorities in check!
brn_baby_brn 15
In what way?
Heteroscodra 8
Raised them a little too well :D
GotItWow 13
Got to love dogs. You had a Hairy time didn't you with those furballs?
tygerarmy 35
I've always wondered if this would work with Police dogs, if you know the commands.
zeemonster424 15
Most dogs used for military or police respond to commands in German.
fivetimeslonger 24
They're also trained to one master (one solider or one officer) whereas family dogs are likely trained to be obedient to all members of the family.
evildemonchild 18
I never knew that commands in German sounds almost the same as English o.o I might tell my friend to try it
TheDrifter 24
They're fairly different. And the police dogs are trained to respond only to their handler and people in police uniforms. I had a retired police dog, great pet, just takes a week or two with their old handler so they recognise and respond to you.
Sathane 21
Nope. Properly trained protection dogs only, like my boys, only listen to their trainer. You could throw a big steak at them and they won't touch it unless I say so.
damnit1989 16
#18, sitze, is sit.
Kat_Styles 15
I don't know why everyone have the comment about German a thumbs down. It's true
tygerarmy 35
I have worked alongside military dogs on a deployment, they are not trained to only obey one person. And the commands were in English. I was tempted to ask for a bite suit and to test my theory, but I moved to a different assignment before I got an opportunity. Police and other militaries may be different.
crazytwinsmom 25
A guard dog in the back of a truck was barking at me when I was talking to the driver. I yelled at the dog "oh shut up", and he stopped barking.
jixiekat 14
it doesn't. the police train their dogs to listen to them and only them. its pretty cool :)
TCRII 30
My friends dog is protection and service trained. He will obey anyone he knows until she puts him in protection mode. Then no one can come in the house - even her husband.
agentcocotte 11
I like how you say she puts him in protection mode LOL like a switch
thefastnfuryass 14
I'm American and I use German commands for my Labrador It's a lot of fun when no one else can give my dog orders but me.. hehe
CurlyQute 17
Maybe a bit too obedient
Snicket 13
Dogs need more training sometimes OP good luck
olpally 33
Lol, should have told the dogs to call the cops, since they're so well trained. damn. Hope they didn't get away!
Soloman212 28
This made me burst out laughing. "911, what's your emergency?" "RUFF RUFF"
pjsr 33
Ah, dogs - a robber's best friends!