Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
verkaderk 9
Wait a second... So he would rather have his own hand touch his penis than your's?
ThePsyche 9
Does anyone know what's up with all the YDI's lately? Even some that are genuine FML's are being voted YDI. Why?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
lindaruiz 5
Yes #70, I didn't spell it right. Thx for noticing. What does that have to do with what everyone else is responding to??
Supahnova 14
I can't tell if you're another victim of this alleged glitch, or if more people honestly thought you deserved it.
waterkins 7
Are you that ugly if he has to watch ****?
Patswillreign 2
Sounds like you've let yourself go and don't turn him on anymore...or maybe you just suck at foreplay and he's tired of it. I feel sorry for the poor guy.
biloxi_girl 22
No you are not alone :-)
CallmeRyuzaki 0
If the roles were reversed, it would be super hot. I guess we just have to accept that women are different than us.
MrsWojtowicz 16
No you're not. :)
BigSexy123 11
Nope, definitely not alone in that. xD
zenrael 21
What planet do you live on?
catanita 18
WOW. He is jerking off over a porno instead of you? That must suck.