Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
verkaderk 9
Wait a second... So he would rather have his own hand touch his penis than your's?
ThePsyche 9
Does anyone know what's up with all the YDI's lately? Even some that are genuine FML's are being voted YDI. Why?
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Comments (139)
souljacker 11
I do that for foreplay.
looney_mc 4
Well do the same with a big ass toy. See if he likes that
Threnody666 19
Sounds like foreplay to me. There is nothing hotter than watching a man touch himself. I don't see why this is on FML....
Hellbound_Alleee 14
"Foreplay" is a jerk weasel word meaning "get her just wet enough to screw her." There should be no such thing as "foreplay." It should be "She Comes First."
simoncat 11
And you're going to marry this twit? Why? Why?
aztecwarrior1983 1
Maybe he doesn't feel very attracted to you and he needs ****. Or he might be bored.
nerdsgetmehot 23
And why is he your fiance?
WeskersSexslave 15
hes into voyuerism!
yumcupcakes 2
Yea, if I were to watch my fiancé get off by watching other girls I'd be sick to my stomach. Not turned on.
dan_in_wi 12
tell him his dick beaters should be playing with u instead