Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
verkaderk 9
Wait a second... So he would rather have his own hand touch his penis than your's?
ThePsyche 9
Does anyone know what's up with all the YDI's lately? Even some that are genuine FML's are being voted YDI. Why?
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Comments (139)
starman02 12
If you can't "beat" him, join him. Grab your B.O.B, who knows... You may enjoy it more than actual foreplay
spikekutter 9
i would totally show him what foreplay is with the help of op
eoko 12
I guess she won't pick up the phone.
xXxSCREAMxXx 3
or answer his text
Sakaea 22
Help him or join in, you might find it enjoyable ;)
bestnameright 14
Get him back! Go get a golf club and some BALLS. Then get ready to hit him with a golf ball. Make sure to yell, "fore!" To at least give him a warning. After that you might as well just go PLAY golf, instead of banging that JERK.
kofeinisti 6
Trying way too hard there, buddy.
brackaman 18
You NEED to stop capitalizing so many WORDS thinking that no one's going to GET it.
perdix 31
The definition of foreplay is subjective so he is right. He should sell "pornos" to her as "training videos." It's all about marketing -- words have power.
seandoc 13
Maybe you should've considered reality instead
BellaBelle_fml 23
And what reality is that? The reality that OP's boyfriend obviously has no clue as to what arouses his own girlfriend? Or the reality that your comment was a very poor one?
seandoc 13
I worded my comment wrong. I should've wrote something like, "maybe you should've let your girlfriend do the job" or something original. Sorry for the inconvenience, Mom.
Pitbull305 9
Voyeurism is a form of foreplay to some, if he enjoys watching **** and being seen touching himself, maybe you can get involved and be his **** and enjoy him touching himself to you.
ICastillo 25
He likes to do things hands on or you should give him a helping hand with that.
freedomofmusic 12
Don't get why people are saying you deserve it... That sounds pretty sucky to me.
olpally 33
How stupid can he be? Wow. Lmao. Good luck with him op. please don't breed with him. Lol.
SirCharles83 13
I know huh! Come on! This guy is nuts. I hate to bust his bubble but women don't think this is a blast. She should discharge herself from the relationship. What a jerkoff.