Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML
Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
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Top comments
ldhull 16
Just don't tell him to put a fork in it.
hershelLayton 13
He might be defective. Return him to Walmart. Pretty sure they'll give you a refund
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Comments (52)
ldhull 16
Just don't tell him to put a fork in it.
remometol 16
Or maybe you should, for the sake of humanity
cutycat136 28
It seems people are so glued to their phones these days that they are completely clueless about every other thing in life; even the simplest of things.
HappyItalian 38
Yes, because phones is the real problem here.
cutycat136 28
Phones are*
Mathalamus 25
or... maybe he just never needed to use the toaster before? i would have trouble uhsing somethign i never used before. and i'm almost 25.
cprad11 12
While I agree that phones can be very distracting, you can't assume that OP's brother didn't know toaster mechanics due to his phone.
Mynamewontfi 40
Ever since I got my phone, I suddenly lost the ability to do anything. I'm now stuck in my room, because I don't know how to open the door. Send help.
cprad11 12
#21 On my way.
deathstroke990 22
ok but like,,, he's 17 ,,,,,, he was raised before people were on cellphones all the time,,,,,,,,,,
DoomedGemini 38
Actually my phone has at least helped me find information out, so quite useful. Didn't really need it for a toaster but yeah..
sammiaaron 16
if he was so glued to his phone he would have known he could just Google how to use the toaster
leogachi 15
@26 He's 16 and he's probably seen people glued to their phones for most of his life.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
No wonder they wouldn't take back my toaster at wal-mart when I said it wouldn't pre-heat properly.
Geckosrock99 33
This is what happens when parents spoil their kid too much (or choose them as the favorite if multiple kids are involved). They get an unrealistic view of how things work and are generally ignorant of things normal kids their age already know. That's not including attitude problems, as that wasn't mentioned in the FML.
The12thPaladin 8
So spoiled kids automatically don't know how to use a toaster?
corky1992 33
Not the kids whose parents literally do everything for them. My sister had a friend who barely knew how to work the microwave because her mom literally did everything for her..it's sad.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
#18. No it does not, but a child raised to be self-sufficient would know. His parents failed him. I see this all the time in new soldiers. They don't know how to do their own laundry or cook. They don't know how to balance their check book, or how a loan to buy a car works. Her brother is 16 he shouldn't need any more rearing, he should be able to take care of himself.
Geckosrock99 33
So #31 and #34 were the only ones who knew what I meant? Go figure. I thought it was pretty obvious what I was trying to say.
SamSwebb 24
Wait ... That's NOT how they work?
tackblog 14
The fact that your son is 16 and does not know how to use a toaster is very reflective of your parenting skills. My parents taught me at age four. YDI.
Steffi 26
OP is not the boy's parent, OP is his sibling.
FSGInsainity 15
Op's brother is their son?! What a plot twist! Those must be awkward family reunions though...
jake_braves 25
OP and the kid are siblings.
thearronaut 10
Nice try. Next time actually read the fml
Nicole_Shotz 8
Just make sure he doesn't get his dick stuck in the toaster
JKPwnage 27
Or make sure he does. Keep the stupid from reproducing.
hershelLayton 13
He might be defective. Return him to Walmart. Pretty sure they'll give you a refund
ThrottleJockey 36
Or at the very least a store credit, though their quality seems to be lacking these days so I'm not sure you'd want another from their stock.
andrmac 25
Well mommy has always made the toast for him before how should he know how to use one?
pop17123 19
Aliens are disappointed in us because of your brother OP.