Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jsan727 17
You should of just stared him in the eyes the entire time. You know, to establish dominance.
Zelphoric 25
Sounds like he's working pretty hard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
CoupeDeAce 6
Just bury that shit. Deep.
iMuffinKat 16
I had that happen to me once...but I wasn't touching myself in the bathroom. I was just using the bathroom just like a normal person then one of my classmates ninja kicked the door open (I didn't lock is properly and she likes to kick stuff) and hit me in the face. She totally recognized me.
k_cummins 21
I feel like she's the one who should be embarrassed about that. Who runs into the bathroom kicking doors open? Especially without checking to see if someone's in there.
ghetto_child 19
as shitty as it is...forget it...he's probably more embarrassed than you are disgusted. turn the situation into an inside joke every chance you get for the next 10 years and have a laugh at it.
wickedhot 11
Go to HR-- this is unacceptable. I know shit happens if you will... But openly jerkin it at work during business hours is not ok-- and especially if it's impacting your ability to work
ghetto_child 19
it's nothing but "he said she said". the guy jerkin it could go to hr as well saying he was in the bathroom and OP threatened him with an ultimatum of doing a sexual act on him or he's Goin to hr. it'll go nowhere. There's no proof, no other witnesses, no one to back up the story.
legendof90 14
What exactly can hr do. He's in the bathroom not bothering anyone
shinikageWolf 15
At least he didn't request help with his "side project".
lostinareverie 21
There's a time and place for that, work is not one of them. I'm sure it will be tough, but HR needs to know that.
cornwallus24 8
Some folks replied with hope he wasn't saying your name and don't get me wrong that's a good thing......but I would add least he wasn't moaning your girlfriends name!
sammiaaron 16
maybe he's the master baiter on his fishing team
tomvertigo 17
Sooo I assume it is a private restroom and he didn't lock the door? I suggest knocking no matter what in the future.