Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
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Top comments
jsan727 17
You should of just stared him in the eyes the entire time. You know, to establish dominance.
Zelphoric 25
Sounds like he's working pretty hard.
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Comments (88)
andrmac 25
If you feel uncomfortable you should go to HR. If he doesn't know that you walked in report it anonymously. It won't be better until it is addressed, and you know you're not walking in on that again.
JustinJK 21
idk. On one hand it's completely inappropriate, but he could lose his job. I don't think I would want someone fired for jacking off in the bathroom. Yeah if it was in an open space.
SookyLala 13
jack off at home..this dude ahould definitely lose his job. creepy ass MF
xTommytheGUNx 15
#48 some people actually have a hyperactive sex drive and have no choice but to take care of it.
pop17123 19
MAKE SURE HE WASH HIS HANDS.....ICKY
hfslkp47012759 28
Co-worker to co-jerker? ;)
pks2014 10
Hey what's the problem why are you acting like lady, you should have snapped his picture and then see his reaction.
sammiaaron 16
eww why would anyone think to take a picture of that?
Mike_Oxhard 14
Bylaw employees are allowed to become aroused at work as long as they don't act on it. You need to report him to HR and get him written up. Do it anonymously so he doesn't know, but you don't need to be subjected to that nonsense at work.
captainsmegma 12
Where did you come up with that bullshit rule? Suppose I work in the **** industry editing scenes, or shooting video?
aruden 25
Or don't be a bitch and have the balls to talk to him..
olillia 16
Don't see why you would be downvoted. Doesn't matter if you personally wouldn't mind your coworker jerking off in a public bathroom, but it will NEVER be okay to commit a sex act while on the clock. You're getting paid. That's bullshit. It's also wildly inappropriate and if he had been in a restroom at say a retail place, airport, grocery, etc., there would have been law enforcement action. You would be arrested.
Kiernan151 25
He could have been on a break 40, when he's not getting paid. That's more than likely the situation.
hardattack62 5
Pretty sure he didn't realize you were there. Don't embarrass him by making a big deal of it. It would be different if he was exposing himself. Relax.
sammiaaron 16
he IS exposing himself. in a public restroom. where it's common knowledge that someone can walk in at any moment. if he doesn't want to get embarrassed he should be handling his private business in private that's disgusting and no one should be forced to see that
Foxfire15 15
To be frank, these are the kinds of things you report to HR.
fmlfreek101 15
Working hard or hardly working?
Kristen320 21
Make sure you shake his right hand.
FSGInsainity 15
I use my right hand, who's to say his coworker doesn't?
ProfessorMctitie 20
OP should have joined in on the fun
ircs56 10
this sounds like a size issue to me