Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
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Top comments
LyricaSilvan 30
Cats seem like fun. Sometimes I think I want one, but then I read the cat-related FMLs. XD
bella_nana347 23
Ew. That's a bit of a hairy situation.
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Comments (39)
LyricaSilvan 30
Cats seem like fun. Sometimes I think I want one, but then I read the cat-related FMLs. XD
americanafrican 32
I too would love to own devil spawn.
Mynamewontfi 40
Cats are great. But there are little moments where you question yourself why you have a cat. One of my cats likes to lie on top of me with his head as close to my face as possible. Really sucks when he has to hack up a hairball.
tabypatchkid 11
my cat likes to lay on my face and wont move and if I try and move him he just jumps right back.. cats are weird..
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Cats are assholes. Mine pretends to be your friend so she can scratch the shit out of your hand until you're bleeding in 8 different places. She also likes to drink out of people's glasses by sticking her paw into the glass and licking it, and she will grab a piece of food off your plate with her teeth and run away with it. She also likes to leave dead mice right beside my bed.
HylianBadger 21
Not all cats are bad. The only problem I have with mine is that she has a tendancy scratch me when she suddenly jumps off me. I think it's because when my parents declawed her front paws it's made her a little more wary, so she keepa them out at all times for protection. But she's a very sweet and loving cat, and though it's very exasperating when it happens, I know she doesn't do it on purpose.
LyricaSilvan 30
One of my friends has one who likes to lie down on her arm while she's trying to type. She tells me every time it happens, mostly because having a cat on your arm seems to make typing a wee bit challenging.
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh I know they're not all bad. I still would very much like to have one. But I like to joke that they're evil as much as the next person.
HylianBadger 21
Lol I've met my fair share of evil cats. My mom had one named Lucy, which was perfect because to me it was short for Lucifer.
LyricaSilvan 30
One of my friends had a teacher whose cat once divebombed his head from on top of the fridge, and all because he gently pushed it out of his way while walking down a hallway in his house.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Oh, boy. I'd hurl immediately.
bella_nana347 23
Ew. That's a bit of a hairy situation.
TxAsMaD3 19
Must been one hairy situation
fakedsincerity 32
Pets are the best and the worst ever. My dog likes to share our bed and just farts all night. Why?!
phoneaddict13 29
I like how you said share our bed :)
The_Potato_Lord 15
Oh wow that must've been fun.
Yimpish 15
Sounds like a cat-astrophe
lexos 16
At least it wasn't poo
alana554 18
Yuck!
asternsleet 6
I know how this feels, except I woke up in the middle of her hacking it up right next to my ear. Cats are gross man