Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
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Top comments
coklara 15
Better now then later...or else his girlfriend would be really disappointed.
cutycat136 28
Where would he have even gotten the idea that that's what it was?
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Comments (97)
96isntassexyas69 20
We, that must have been a pretty disturbing conversation. Sorry Op
vlalam 24
Good luck explaining abt forking to ur brother then..
vikky538 29
How old is your brother?
protoskore 27
I really have to stop reading FMLs while eating dinner
lostinareverie 21
American sex education for the win!
newyorkcityguy 9
How can somebody be so sexually illiter- "Texas" Oh.
bruh3572 2
why was this his thought to begin with?
Eloxia 7
Good thing you explained it. That sounds rather painful. :(
HailCthulu 0
While you're at it you should probably explain scissoring too...for safety reasons.
Lopmon 7
Why would anyone ever think this?.. Creative minds, man..