Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
war_monkey tells us more.
It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
laurenasabutton 26
"Jeff just got punched in the face"
CueTheMusic 22
"Jeff has a sudden pain in the crotch"
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Comments (179)
laurenasabutton 26
"Jeff just got punched in the face"
Travesty911 14
And the end of Jeff is now, in a puddle if his own blood, while for some reason I'm still talking because I'm supposed to be dead.
ohcheriecherie 20
Narrate him rudely. "Jeff, the ignorant sonofafuck, reaches for the stapler." "That rude ************ who narrates himself takes a phone call." it could help.
larrena2377 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Put a few eye drops in his drink. He'll be on the toilet for a week
wickedalwayswins 7
"One time, he punched me in the face... it was awesome!"
ballerboy20 8
his next line would be jeff got pmfffd nn hfh fcce
Stazza11 27
"Jeff's neck spontaneously broke"
Tijenai 5
"Jeff saw your FML..."
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#75 A little too far there, dude.
war_monkey 6
#86, I actually showed him this FML :D
kaitieloo 22
S'okay... I get your reference. :)
CupOfCoffee 14
^ This #1. Serves him right.
Credibleskills 28
Sweet you actually followed up
kaablam 17
Good job Op, now none of the tricks will work! "Jeff is not afraid of you."
Badkarma4u 17
Jeff happens to be an amateur kickboxer and decided to beat the living crap out someone who assaults him because he was talking at work. Jeff then calls the police and has you arrested for assault and battery. Jeff watches you get escorted out of the bulding with all your belongings in a box. Jeff has a job while you have to explain your history of workplace violence on your next few interveiws.
wickedalwayswins 7
It was a Mean Girls reference... tough crowd.
BootheGhost 6
I don't know why everyone is complaining, i would love a talking chimp!
CueTheMusic 22
"Jeff has a sudden pain in the crotch"
wcc7777777 5
"Jeff is now in the Intensive Care Unit due to multiple injuries from the comment section on FML
pieman528 10
"Jeff got smacked in the face"
TheDrifter 24
Jeff is sad now. Jeff is reaching for a tissue. The tissue hurts Jeff's nose. Somehow I don't see violence improving the situation.
mchmelev1993 10
Jeff got pushed down the stairs:0
ChenEighty 20
Yes, 4, murder is clearly the only way out of this.
ian3866 12
You must be a first to not fall down some steps in your life then...congrats
aleximo 18
One does not simply get pushed down the stairs and survive.
ChenEighty 20
36, falling is fine, being pushed generally causes a harder impact.
charbel_fml 11
It's a joke. On a website where people usually joke.
kaablam 17
I like your style #82, how is it people don't get that?
jizzwold 21
Sounds like a bunch of real life status updates. You just can't escape them.
jazzmin1997 16
Facebook is all around...
ChawanKiti 15
Go up to him and say, "Jeff just got slapped." Then you know what to do after that op.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Give Jeff a hug, right?
war_monkey 6
WRONG- arnold schwarzenegger, commando. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8-HDUBbtgQ
Imhere4fml 24
"Jeff is dead"
laureri 26
Nah don't kill him just play the repeater. Get everyone in the office in on it. One day of the repeater and he will stop narrating!
Zelphoric 25
"Jeff had a slight accident on the staircase."How unfortunate.
ZeroPath5 16
Reminds me of the family guy episode when Peter narrates his life. Course, he got punched in the face too. Maybe the episode is trying to tell you something.
Dmc169 9
"Jeff awoke several hours later in a daze"
justkeez 11
I would copy everything his does