Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
Ecnassianer 0
......... o_o -blink-
AquaSky 1
Take the hint.
CallMeHush 1
Wash that thang.
mikkel_natas 0
OK... That's ******* brill! high five to him! :) A sense of humor is key to a successful long-term relationship. Bravo!
Diannaa 0
OP u should clean your kitty cat.. or maybe u have an STD idk, but it isn't supposed to smell
Dannie1308 11
what planet do you live on, where vaginas don't smell?!?
HarlequinHarlynn 0
that's some funny shit haha
volstaag 0
guess it reminded you to clean your smelly vag.
Quest_ 13
Wow, I think that's a really jerky thing to say. If that happened to me I'd consider the sexy mood absolutely killed. How are you supposed to get excited and feel happy when it seems your boyfriend thinks such a degrading thing about your body. And put so rudely and immaturely. OP, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your cake, natural vaginal scent is actually a symptom of it being clean and healthy. The market for 'feminine hygiene products' have fabricated the idea that to be acceptable your vulva must be scentless. Also, I'm sure his hairy musty **** smells awesome all the time.
kitzukitten715 0
Well said #34. I'm a very clean person and have no "issues", so guys, get a clue. If it doesn't have a natural but clean vag smell, watch out... She may be hiding something. And chicks, if you have an issue with rotten crotch, wash it more than your daily shower. Stores sell feminine wash and douche just for that purpose.
Timmo_fml 2
I think you are waaaaaay too serious. Lighten up you fool!
OffMySack 2
killing HER mood 34? you think he was still turned on after eating smelly poon?
shoeliz 0
don't use those products!! if u have an unusually strong/unpleasant odor, go see your doctor!!!!!!
emsun1 0
LOL @ 18
lky830 0
you need soap and water.... soap and water...soap and water water water water water water
sourgirl101 29
Yes it takes 2 seconds to wash those little T.P. fuzz balls off. Now don't forget to kiss him back to thank him.
jenknee1989 0
yeah so you can have your cum back in your mouth?