Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Tell him he has Toupée extra for that. I hope he doesn't try to give it a little wig-gle in there.
Myo_fml 20
15: I do believe that I am going to need years of therapy after reading that.
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Comments (99)
KaiCer0 8
Why not wear it? Spice the sex up already...
Obey_StudBoii 23
Just go with the flow. If he plans on roleplaying then you should do the same. Blow his mind.
Ukeee_X 19
Give it a go- it could be fun! Nothing like spicing things up (coming from a sub). Though he should have consulted you first.
etchsanity1 11
Precisely grab some silk rope, a few clothes pins, and a ball gag I don't ever get why people are so damn timid about exploring sexuality nothing more fun than tying a girl to your headboard and making use of fun stuff and blindfold ... You won't even wear a wig for him I have ta say you deserve it. Try some hot candle wax;)
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Oh, I get it--you're just upset that his kinks are so very tame and uninspiring.
Werken247 14
OP Lighten up and enjoy some sex with your husband, otherwise next year for New Years you might get divorce papers instead of a kiss.
kirasant 19
Yeah, there are worse things in life than finding out your husband has a kink you don't. Sit down and have a talk and give it a try. Surely you have some kinky interests he could give a try for you.
lexieB2014 19
Congrats on the anniversary booo to your mom lol
jessica53139 10
Sounds like a funny guy!
Ray_of_midnight 23
How do you do I, see you've met my, faithful handyman....
ToxicFuel 6
RHPS, great :)
ohhhsnapple 14
That was rude of your husband, answering for the wigs when the question was directed at THEM.
80skid 15
Keep an open mind. Give it a try :)